ChrisWrestling's blog

I understand what you are saying and I really want to learn real wrestling but where I am from we don't have that and I also don't have that much time after work studies and energy after going to gym 5-6 days a week to learn the real thing religiously And when I fight I fight seriously but also when we are done the sweat the body of my fighting partner turns me on

As someone who actually actively trains pro wrestling, I kinda get what you are saying. Most people who claim to know pro wrestling on this site don't really know what they are talking about, and it can be a real struggle to find opponents. But that's just how it always goes, compatible people are hard to find when you're at a high level. Why the shame and dismissal? Pro wrestling is still a good sport that requires a lot of training and a good amount of athleticism. "Because we are a marginalized community who is viewed as weak by the straights". What about all the straight pro wrestlers and fans out there, and why do you care about what "the straights" think? "Entertainment for rednecks", what about new japan or lucha libre?

I admire your effort to create a community, but at the end of the day, people like what they like. It's hard to find ideal opponents on a recreational site when you are more professional. I really think that's what it is. You don't need to elevate it to somewhere it doesn't need to be.

I think the original post is on point. Fantasy is great, consensual sex of any type is great, and "wrestling porn" is great. But it can confuse guys on what is real, and limit us in ways that that we may not even be aware of.

After being on this site for a few months, and meeting up with guys for matches (which were all fun in their own way), I decided I really sucked at having any real skills, even though I won most of the matches. And I was not at all happy about that.

So I took a step back to try to figure out how I could become better. I realized I would never get much better by simply having more matches with guys from this site, because most of them were not very skilled either. There are exceptions, but those guys would not have time to train me anyway. And there isn't much energy around wrestling clubs these days. But luckily there is a really good answer to be found in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training, which is available almost everywhere now. And with the rise in no gi BJJ, it's the perfect opportunity for building skills that are equivalent to traditional wrestling, and probably even better from a fetish perspective. So I started training in no gi BJJ.

I think there are profound opportunities for brotherhood, building community, health benefits, and enhancing fetish play in this approach, and I hope more guys consider it.

Very good article, man. Real, actual wrestling is tough, requires discipline to train, eat and rest properly. Very, and I do mean very, few people actually have it in them to do this. Is the body contact and gear hot? Well, if course it is. Does it make people horny? (Me included) You bet it does. But there is something to admire and look up to in guys that train for this for real. I've often had the same thoughts as you. It's nice to see I'm not the only one!

Great post! Also I will say that while the erotic/kinky sides of wrestling are super fun and enjoyable, the most fun I've personally had has actually been just regular bjj/grappling sparring with guys off the site. I do hope more of us will decide to take it up and that the community grows further to eventually start clubs or mini get-together groups where we could just train and sparr together, maybe even reaching the point of having tournaments :)

Couldn’t agree more with you Chris! About time someone said it, the whole site and scene is tarnished by some guys not knowing the difference between kink and sport.

A ultra light roll and a wank in gear is not a match it’s kink sex, which is fine for what it is, but don’t whine when you meet a real sub wrestler who kicks your ass and you don’t like the real deal.

💯 agree great post!

Very good and thought-provoking post. I too have had a previous opponent who "held back" and didn't wrestle to the full extent of his capabilities, and it was a disappointing experience. And you guessed it - he was a renowned gay porn wrestler for a company out in California. (At the time I didn't know who he was, because I wasn't renting that company's DVDs.) I refuse to name him because I don't want him to be targeted on this site.

Who do I blame for this? Partly myself, because I should have known better. But I also have to blame (as Centaur said) the guys who don't know the difference between sex and sport. All I can say is that if we agree to a submission match, you'd better come at me with all you've got, because I will certainly bring my "A" game to the mats. Period.

As a straight man, I loved your videos. I learned a lot, and I have been taught to never underestimate a skilled wrestler. I’m in a community club, and one of our coaches is out, but he’s a tough SOB. And skilled. Together, he and I are working to create an adult aged program that will be open about the fact it is LGBTQ+ friendly and inclusive. I hope it inspires wrestlers of all types to come out and see what the sport is all about.

Keep being your best you. You rock.
Jeremy

Having wrestled in high school for a bit, I agree that there's a big difference between a real match and a "fun" one. There's a lot of technique to learn with real wrestling and it's not always that fun. However, it's also enjoyable in it's own way, getting to test each other in a competitive way.

100% this.
Both are enjoyable, but both are very différent and it’s important to know which is which. But even when wrestling just for fun, unless you’ve mutually agreed that you are trying to sell holds, you still need to use your brain and remember that if your joints are moving in a way that they shouldn’t, tap or give before it gets to be too much and permanent injury occurs.

Reading this blog and Ben Monaco's recent post show two sides of the same coin to me regarding play vs real wrestling. Did anyone else get that interpretation?

You are laying out the importance of communication - and why recs are our best friend.

I get a lot of "hey, nice _______ let's wrestle".

Um, who are you?, why me?, what do you want out of this?, what style?, did you read my profile? :-). (quick answer: rarely) I can have fun with practice, serious, learning, teaching, roughhousing. But its nice to know which not only before we begin, btus before I waste a lot of time.

And I'm too old to get hurt, and prefer not to hurt anyone else.

Just communicate.

Yeah, communication was definitely not the problem in the example given.

Sure sounds like it was: he didn't tell you what he really wanted and he didnt read or listen to what you wanted.

On your end, it sounds like YOU communicated - but comms takes two :-)
No?

I enjoyed reading this blog post and identified with it. I am always looking for high school/ college type matches and don’t get many responses and even when I do it seems the other guy has other ideas as to what folk style is. Realized I was not communicating what I was really looking for and doing so helped me avoid those meet ups where we’d start wrestling and after about 15 minutes the other guy would quit because it was too competitive. So I just found a judo club and go there to get my wrestling needs satisfied. I just keep open to contacts on this site but don’t expect many contacts but if something works out, then good.