hugefan's blog

This is a sad entry. There will be no levity, no self-depreciating humour and most certainly no irony.

Having woken to my usual bulging inbox; one new photo notification, one profile change notification and one accidental challenge from India, I decided to check my profile in case there was not enough information provided to attract attention. Half asleep, I noticed something was not quite right. Slowly it dawned on me, kicking my duvet off and counting my fingers and toes my worst fears were confirmed - one of my recommendations had disappeared.

Sublimeboston seemed to have removed both my recommendation for him and his for me. Clicking on his user name with the intention of asking what was up, the dreaded words - Profile Cannot be Displayed, The User is no longer a member appeared in the lurid pink box. Having his mobile number from when we met I sent him a text - have you retired? hope you are ok? - Almost instantly the reply comes back - yep, decided to retire, all the best. I sent him another wishing him well.

So what? I hear the one reader who has got this far sigh. He wasn't a friend, I only met him for a few hours early one Sunday morning, there was no post wrestling activity and although he was fit I had no obsessive crush on him.We just had a really good laugh and did lots of pro-style wrestling. He decided and I have no idea why, that I was a little overweight, so after taunting me I decided when I had him in a particularly tight hold to persuade him to say sorry - what is the word that begins with S I asked him, quick as a flash he replies I thought cellulite began with a C. Unfortunately for him, making me laugh caused my slight frame to shudder which made the hold even more painful. Having said what a lovely time we had it is quite likely I would never have met him again, he was quite straightforward explaining that he would rather meet less elephantine opponents but I think given time and true stalking perseverance I might have got him back between my thighs. At least the possibility would have still been there.

So why am I bothered? Most of the guys I have met I would happily meet again, some I am gagging to meet again and the odd one I would rather forget. Am I just nosy wondering why he has retired from wrestling? He isn't old, he was fit, he seemed to be enjoying himself. Perhaps it's the realisation that some day I will come to the same decision and this adventure will be over? Or maybe it's because I lost my most humourous recommendation, even if it did imply I am a tad hefty.

Not sure why but it did make me irrationally sad.

If my one reader who still has his eyes open has any thoughts I would be glad to hear them.

Dear Imaginery readers,

Have you seen the film Final Destination or Final Destination 2,3,4,5,6, or 7? Any of them will do, they are basically the same story - if you escape death then its only a delayed escape because the grim reaper will come to get you in some ridiculous outlandish fashion.

What does this have to do with wrestling you ask, or possibly what has he been smoking? My answer is that I have discovered I am the grim reaper of this wrestling site, not that if you arrange to meet me you will die a horrible bizarre death, no, no one has died yet but something truly strange will happen to you, that will stop us meeting.

Ten days ago, I had five meets arranged - Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Thursday. How would my poor body ever cope? What was I thinking? One good wrestle can wipe me out the next day, how would five in six days leave me feeling? But as all these meets had taken stalking dedication to arrange I felt it was my duty to wrestlingkind to meet this challenge.

With a weeks notice my Saturday opponent cancels. That's pretty civilized, plenty of warning, anyone can need unexpected dental work and no one wants to wrestle with a sore mouth. Cool, only four wrestles in five days, probably for the best.

Three days before my Sunday meet my opponent warns me, he thinks he is coming down with flu. Pretty good warning, unusual to get flu in the middle of a heatwave but certainly not impossible, just unlucky. I try to find an alternative opponent but no one is biting, never mind, still have three meets in four days, maybe someone is looking out for my creaky old body.

Monday morning, I text my evening meet and tell him if he cancels on me, I will retire. Monday morning, he cancels, very apologetic, sudden work commitment. I will forgive him, Bradley Copper is worth waiting for.

Tuesday, I chat to my Wednesday opponent, very cute Essex guy with lots of banter. Now, I have never held with the stereotypical view that people in Essex wear so much hairspray so they can catch everything that is going over their heads. However, I may have to review my opinion. Having run out of fake tan he decided to lie in the sun all day and wondered why he was feeling slightly tender. To be fair, I actually took sympathy on him and told him we should rearrange, while I am looking forward to hurting him I would rather do that in a wrestling hold than by slapping him on the back.

So, now its Wednesday and Thursday's meet has not cancelled yet but still plenty of time.

Let this be a warning to you, if you decide to challenge me, you will come down with something, may it be summer flu, toothache or essex sunburn. I should emphasis, I am sure all the reasons given were genuine therefore I can only conclude I am cursed.

Be afraid, very afraid ..... I

Having joined this site at the end of February and having met seven, not five, not six but seven different guys (and one twice) which averages at almost two a month (maths or full-stops were never my strong points) I now feel well qualified to offer expert advice on all things meetfighters related and probably advice on any topic you, my imaginery audience choose to ask. No doubt it will be dreadful advice but it will be well intentioned. I like messages so tell me if your pet dog is feeling sick or you don't know what colour speedos to wear for your next meet.

My top five meetfighters tips -

Tip 1/

Stalking - obviously not something I ever need to do but from what I hear (ahem)the first step if you like the look of a photo is obviously to check out their profile, preferably do this when the person is online, if they look at yours you know a) they are interested in at least knowing who is checking them out and therefore b)they are not already so popular they don't care who looks at their profile.

Step 2 - If you like what you see and read make them a favourite. This may prompt a thank you which in turn gives you the excuse to send a message. You might want to play it cool, pay a compliment and avoid directly asking if they would like to meet up for a wrestle or if you have been drinking at the time (ahem) you might just blurt out your secret desire to pin them to the floor.

Step 3 - If you like someone and send them a message and they blank you, don't follow it up, they are not interested or if you have been drinking at the time (ahem) send them a message enquiring if something might be wrong with the site and they possibly didn't get your first message and how much you would love to pin them to the floor. If at this point they don't block you , you can tell they are secretly interested and have had a terrible accident with a power tool and temporarily lost the ability to type.

Tip 2/

Sexual activity -

When you have managed to find someone daft enough to meet you (speaking for myself there) but before the actual meet its important to establish if there is mutual ground and expectations of any after wrestling activity (ahem) This can be difficult - this site encompassess a range of people from those who basically want to roll around (this is what they think wrestling is) as foreplay and then do what they might do after picking someone up at a club, to those who would run a mile if they saw a bulge in a pair of speedos. If the profile is not explicit in that regard and lets face it - like wrestling , hit me up - could be interpreted in different ways, then ASK! Nothing worse than travelling half way across london to get a ten minute wrestle and then be expected to act as a wank aid (excuse my language)

Tip 3/

Younger/ older, heavier / lighter

As a general rule if two guys are equally skilled, the bigger stronger one will generally be in control, so if you are madly seriously competitive then go for someone the same size and experience. If, however you are happy to try moves out and be careful then you can have loads of fun with a mismatch and of course some guys like to be dominated so a bit of extra poundage is a plus.

Younger or older - if someone doesn't say explicitly they are looking for a certain age range then check their past meets and see if they have met a variety of ages, if Hunk21 has only met Hotbod19 and sexystud18 then chances are they might not want to meet oldgit44 (me again) but then no harm in politely asking. Also if you are worried that gramps63 will snap when you sit on him, think again he has been eating hotbod19s for breakfast for longer than hotbod has been around.

Tip 4/

The non-replier After a while you will realise that some people just won't reply to a message. You might write them war and peace (one of my favourite messages) and finish with - don't worry I won't be offended by no thanks - but still they will not reply. This can be for a variety of reasons, a few below-

a)they can't read

b) they can't write

c) their fingers are just too muscular to cope with the small keys on their ipad

d) their hands are busy filing their nails

e) their hands are occupied muscleworshipping themselves while they look in a mirror

f) They think its politer than saying no thanks. To any of those who don't suffer from point a) - IT ISN'T ! Just say no thanks you balloon!

Tip 5/

You will find you receive accidental challenges and accidentally be made someones favourite, big sticky fingers syndrome, do not be irritated by this, POUNCE! They might feel so embarrassed they agree to a meet anyway.

More top tips to follow.

My first best seller is now on its second reprint so I am hoping to get my readership into double figures, spread the word!

I always thought that writing blogs was a bit self indulgent, really who cares what I think but having read a few here and found some very entertaining (especially Tallblondwrestlers - he didn't pay me to write that) I am thinking why not? I am sure very few people get to the end of reading my profile so doubtless this will not be this years Fifty Shades of Grey but hey at least it's free!

So, after forty-four years on the planet (I may be the reincarnation of a martian princess but that is another blog) and probably over 30 since first being turned on by watching wrestling, (yes it was World of Sport wrestling wot done it,also another blog I think), that I came across this site and thought- why not finally see if the reality of wrestling is as good as the fantasy?

And the answer is.......... drum roll, sharp intakes of breath from the imaginary audience. YES!

After a few months and seven meets I am a true addict. Hours spent waiting for the magical - You have 1 new message(s) - to appear, endless trawling through the four hundred odd profiles on this site within one hundred miles of london trying to find people daft enough to meet me, I can now stand up and say -'My name is Stephen and i am a Meetfighters addict'

I was so fortunate that my first meet was with a lovely guy who made the whole ridiculous weirdness of standing around in you trunks and wrestling seem like a perfectly normal thing to do and I have been very fortunate that all the guys I have met have been good people - each of them could get a chapter of their own but I am working on being concise - less is more and all that. There may have been a couple of meets where two sets of desires didn't exactly match but even those were thrilling. The anticipation, the journey, the first sight, the first words, the nagging concern that possibly this one was a mad axeman, all added to the experience.

A word about this site - excellent - who says I can't be concise.

I write about wrestling being erotic in my profile but that does not mean I am hoping or looking for sex (never say never but..), it is about the fantastic feeling you get when after a couple of hours you are lying on the floor covered in sweat, aching and breathing deeply, your head floating and the only word for it is ecstasy. Then, the day after when you have to wear a long sleeved shirt to hide the bruises (don't want to make my opponents sound rough, I bruise like a peach) and you are aware of every body movement because you have used muscles you didn't know existed, (and believe me muscles are not something I am too familiar with), you can relive the feeling you had when you escaped a particular hold or got a hold on, or felt a hold applied and you feel alive.

As you may be able to tell, my imaginary audience, I could write a book about this but I don't want to spoil you... ha ha

Chapter 2 at your local blog spot soon