After being here for a while and dealing with the logistical gymnastics that sometimes go with meeting up with wrestlers, I have to wonder if the answer to my frustrations is anger or apathy.

After a while of that battle, I think apathy won out; it takes too much energy to care about things that don't work out. That "Hey, let's roll next weekend" that turned into nothing and left me with a ton of free time? That "I'll be there at 4PM" that turned into "Oh, sorry something came up" two months later because I happened to ask about it? All of that. Not worth the frustration, so it just goes off the radar.

At the end of it all, it either works out or it doesn't and that is 95% the choices of everyone involved. So in the event we plan something and it doesn't work out, I probably won't be bothered by it and I won't put too much thought into it.

As for why I wrote all this: how do you all feel about this sort of thing? Share in the comments if you would.

Thanks!

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Last edited on 1/19/2016 2:57 PM by synxiec
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Comments

7

edscissors (31 )

5/13/2016 2:25 PM

Goodness: some of you sound very patient about people just not turning up! We all understand that stuff happens and things have to be cancelled at short notice. But surely a message is the very least we can expect? I've been stood up once and am still waiting for an explanation. I've occasionally had to ask for a change of time etc myself but always, always, with the longest amount of notice possible and with profuse apologies. As an older guy, not in good shape, I am always delighted and honoured when someone says "yes" to a meeting and like to treat everyone I meet on this site with consideration and respect. I've met such nice people here!
Edward

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hephaestion2014 (47)

5/13/2016 5:11 PM

(In reply to this)

Well if you get angry at someone, all that happens is you are the only one with that anger/disappointment. They don't care. Especially in your case where they didn't even come up with an excuse.

I was meant to meet someone this week, but they cancelled. It happens. Instead I got to wrestle two other guys and get the opportunity to go to a group meet.

When life gives you lemons, just add it to your vodka and ice and have a good time with the opportunity to do something different.

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Phillip (35)

2/06/2016 4:37 PM

I had the same thing happen to me I arranged a 4 day stop over in London and attempted to contact several wrestlers finally one guy KEN came through. Not only did we have fun wrestling we went to dinner afterwards and had an enjoyable evening. I still keep in touch with him on wrestling websites. See no hard feelings he beat me :-) .

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hephaestion2014 (47)

1/20/2016 7:48 AM

I kind of have the "if it happens, it happens" attitude.

Wrestling for me is a hobby, a past time and with all the train travel, it can be an expensive one. It's not my whole life but a part of it, though a fairly large part. It's about balancing. I'd wrestle every free moment if I could but there are other commitments I have too, and am aware that others are in exactly the same position.

There is sometimes that circular conversation you have with people that gets nowhere. But when the timing is right, it will happen.

Quickest arrangement was, I think, with a guy who asked when I was in his area, I had just pulled into the station, a hour or two later, we were locking up. Sometimes that can happen :-)

I tend to get frustrated when you have people who say they can't do this date, can't do that date but offer up nothing else. "Give me some idea when you can ... " That's my only gripe.

Mind you, I'm a lot more cautious now. Have been on a train pulling into my destination with a hotel booked when been messaged that "something's come up" and sometimes in all honesty things can come up. Have had to cancel a few recently myself because of an illness, and felt awful about it. Luckily it was with a fair bit of notice, and I would have tried to sort a substitute if anything had been booked.

It takes two people to effect your mood. Them and you to let them. Why get angry, frustrated or full of despair? Shrug it off, chalk it up to one of those things. Maybe it'll happen in the future, maybe you shouldn't hold your breath, and just stick their name towards the bottom of your list and move onto those who meet and arrange a lot easier. We all have our own lives and private battles to fight. Take nothing personal.

Well that's my way of doing and thinking about it anyway.

(Sorry, I swear I was only going to write one or two sentences, not an essay :-) )

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stxrasler (5)

1/22/2016 3:17 PM

(In reply to this)

This is well stated. I, too have a similar attitude. I love when it happens but must be reasonably certain it will if I will spend much in time and money getting there for the match. At the same time, this site has afforded me some great matches.

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synxiec (75)

1/22/2016 3:31 PM

(In reply to this)

Good point!

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synxiec (75)

1/20/2016 2:40 PM

(In reply to this)

Thank you for the longer comment; I can always appreciate the time someone takes to write a complete thought.

I agree with much of the sentiment here.

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