WORLD OF RAWR

• I'm not especially experienced, but do okay at defense.
• I think a lot and sometimes, that gets in the way.
• I'm one to respond rather than react.
• I never strike first unless playfully and most times not even then.
• I love banter and I'll even thrown in a little trash talk, but I'm not big on that.
• I'm durable and don't mind being man-handled a bit, just don't be stupid.
• I'm comfortable to wrestle in most things. Like boxers. I'm oddly okay with this.

The thing is, I don't know how to end that sentence.

Wrestler? I guess, but I don't know enough to even call myself something more than interested in the idea of it. It's fun. I did it a bit when I was a kid, but that was decades - literal decades - ago. I defend okay, but I know zero about offense or even tactics. It's a fun thing to do, but nothing I could even be remotely serious about.

Then there's the people here. There are so many people here and they are all into so many different things and types of things. I'm still learning about what I even like when it comes to this. There's a lot to consider.

• Erotic stuff: I don't know what I feel about this completely. Sometimes, it's okay and seems like it would be fun. Other times, I am concerned about possibly having to stop someone from taking things too far. So far, boundaries have been very much respected in this. Is this something I want to look for in every match? Probably not, but then again, probably. I don't know. I really don't.
• Bare-knuckles: I just can't with the reading about people going home with things broken, nearly-broken, or bleeding. Sparring can be fun, but if I'm out to make you bleed, you are my enemy and my goal should be to have you not be able to harm me or any other being... to put it lightly.
• Boxing: This is fun. I can get into it, but I'd have to re-purchase all of my gear, but that could be done.
• Gear: Do I want to invest here or not? It would only be a couple of hundred that I wouldn't really miss at most. I'll get into it during the summer, most likely.

I guess it would be easier to figure out what and who I want to grapple/roll/etc with if I knew what niche I wanted to fit into. The other people here seem very specific in what they want to do and I'm really, really generalized.

I'm sure there are a lot of advantages to being so open, but the one thing I have to consider is being competent at things. Especially when you have people that need you to adjust for their level of intensity. I'm probably good for being thrown about and rolled into a ball in terms of wrestling and sometimes, I just flat-out have fun being man-handled.

I don't always want to win. I'm not especially competitive, either.

I'm just here to have fun. Other people here seem to be very serious about the thing they are into. I admire that, but I'm also just as likely to be seen as a waste of effort for that very reason.

Where do I even begin to invest the time to develop the kind of expertise where someone will want to repeat a meetup? I mean, once we meet and become friends, I can relax, but before then, I have a lot to think about.

So it's been a couple of weeks since that one day that I had a match. Most of my time since then has been spent on work and getting things done at home. Not that it matters much as I don't run into a lot of opportunities for rolling.

That's odd considering the sheer number of people near me. Maybe it's because I don't drive, but I don't know. No one really responds to things. We all have things to do I guess.

In the meanwhile, I've been talking to this person and that from here. They've all been generally cool and it makes things here a lot more interesting. I still hope I get to meet all of these people at some point. I'll probably make a point of highlighting a few user names whenever I write again.

In the meantime, I have to try to manage these annoyingly intense urges to just rumble and roll at the drop of a hat. I don't really get to practice and I don't know how, so I hope simple instinct will carry me through for a while. I have been exercising more regularly, though. I'm sure [S] will be very happy about that. ^^

Take care, guys.

"I'll be the guy dancing at the front of the building".

That was the text I sent before our meeting. From there, I walked down to a spot nearby and waited for [S] to arrive. He pulled up in a small, black, sleek car and I got in... well, after he got turned around and I chuckled for a few moments.

He was very polite in his greeting and asked me a bunch of questions about wrestling. Had I done it before? What got me on this site? What was my background? I had similar questions for him and so it went until we arrived at the wrestling spot.

I met his dog, Maxwell, and got changed; he was kind enough to bring some compression shorts that happened to be my size. I would have brought my own, but being the safety conscious man that he is, [S] asked me to wear shorts with no pockets and I have none of those.

After a bit of talking, he wondered when we would start. I'm never one to go first in most things, so I explained myself. After this, things got rolling. In moments, we had crossed the room and the match was on. I was a big bundle of instinct when it came to defense. Offensively, I was sans-clue. I don't really do sub, so this was more learning than anything...

...and learn I did. I learned a very odd, but effective armbar. Self-awareness came in handy; I was well aware of my shortcomings and acted accordingly. He commended me on being able to handle myself well even with my inexperience before submitting me with an front naked choke.

After that, he taught me some other holds. End round one. Round two was also interesting. From there, we went to a nearby restaurant for lunch where I am certain I made a spectacle of myself from laughing so much. We took turns both laughing and making the other laugh before I handled the check (we did have a gentleman's wager, after all) and heading back to my home.

So went match number one since I've been here and it was an enjoyable first. I can imagine it will only be more interesting from here.

Today has been an interesting day. I believe I've picked up a couple of very cool and chatty friends that will make my stay here a good one. Both of them live nearby and I hope to meet them soon.

In news today, I received my first block; a guy from Cali challenged me to a match and I had no interest, so I clicked the "generic no interest message" button rather than be creative. Because of this, I was blocked.

I want to be offended, but it's just not that serious, truth be known. I barely know anyone here to begin with.

Later, a few messages into a convo with one of the guys here, he added me as a favorite. I think it's neat that we have that nice of a rapport in so short a time. We've been talking all day and he just left another message.

The weekend is nearing and I'll be able to meet up for my second matchup. I don't know how it will go, but I think it will be kinda fun. I'm looking forward to seeing what will happen in general.

But what should I wear?! :D

Some days, I want to wrestle so much and it is endlessly frustrating not to be able to.

It seems that finding matches will take longer than I'd hoped. That said, I do have a meetup next weekend and I am very excited about that and what might happen. I just have wait a few days.

It always makes me a bit sad when I get a challenge in (I got like 10 on my first day here) and then I look up the information and they're in the UK or Australia or Brazil.

I get really excited. Like THIS IS GOING TO BE AMAZING, but they may as well be in the opposite corner of the universe.

Hopefully I'll get to meet or visit these people in some way. I'd really like to do that.

Another day of lurking around the boards had me looking at the people nearest to me and reaching out for a match or two. I have one scheduled for next weekend which should be fun and I look forward to that one.

That, however, was not my first one.

My first one happened a little less than a year ago with this guy who was twice my size. I had posted something on craigslist of all places because I felt like sparring a bit and thought someone might respond.

Someone did. Out of the ones that didn't annoy me, I found this one guy. He was about 40 minutes away and was willing to drive down to hang out and rumble a bit. I had access to a large, empty office space. We met there and had fun doing a combo of boxing and wrestling. He was easily twice my size and strength, but I kept up pretty well anyway.

I still talk to him now and then; we're talking right now. I just found out he's on here, so I'm going to write up something cool for a recommend. He's a really cool guy and I like writing.

I've trolled the site for a while and find myself very much enjoying the journey. I've been reading the recommends and I enjoy how respectful everyone is here.

Additionally, everyone here seems to be very kind to each other – crazy for sure, but kind. In some cases, downright sweet.

It makes me feel that if I ever have a meetup, it will be a very pleasant experience and that maybe I will experience this same kind of comraderie.