squeeze002's blog

SORRY THIS IS LONG BUT IT'S THE TRUTH.

I grew up in Wyoming Casper. When I was maybe seven or eight years old my best friend squeeze the hell out of me and a head scissors. I knew from that very first time but that's what I wanted is a pair of thighs around my neck squeezing the hell out of me I felt so comfortable and so welcome while I was being squeezed it was incredible. That was in 1967-68. Friend would squeeze me I have no idea how many times since that first time it was a game to us he would squeeze me and "punish" me. But I didn't feel punishment I felt just pleasure. I had no understanding of what this was for me. As I said I'm an old country boy used to wear cowboy boots and all that fun stuff yeehaw. Every chance I got to get somebody's legs around my neck to squeeze me in a head scissors I would do it. And I loved every time and remember just about all of them.

So most of my life I've spent looking for legs just a wrap around my neck and squeeze the hell out of me. Why? I asked myself that so many times and as I got older and of course went through puberty I discovered that not only did I feel welcome and comfortable between a guy thighs being squeezed really tight it also turned me on. I don't know how many times I had creamed my jeans every time someone had squeezed me really tight and I did I would poke, prod, tease, dare, whatever it took to get someone's legs around my neck.

Of course I never told anyone that being squeezed between someone's legs got me horny. Not one person at all especially not in Wyoming My God we didn't even talk about sex at all I ever having I discussion about sex with anybody while I was in Wyoming. Not even with friends. I think I'd heard a couple people talking about it but I wasn't interested and wasn't my deal.

"Damn you've got nice legs could you wrap those around my neck please."

And of course I live in Wyoming. When I live there we didn't talk about gay people because even the word "gay" didn't exist when it came to describe homosexuals. They weren't unknown because I had a great uncle who was gay of course I never found out about that until after he was dead. Oh by the way and then I heard all the story. But when it came to being homosexual I had no clue you were either homosexual or a faggot that was it. And I've heard the word faggot a number of times directed towards me when I was growing up mostly in high school a wonderful time in my life really. Although I did have some nice wonderful friends back then was really sexy legs that would squeeze the fuck out of me damn near anytime I wanted it. But there was nothing sexual involved with it it was just being squeezed between their legs.

So I end up going along with my parents after I turned 18 and moving to Klamath Falls, Oregon. And I found legs there to play into I'm really quite fun legs. Course this is a 1978 and it was during the Reagan era which was double digit interest rates, long lines at the gas stations, and not a goddamn job in the entire country. So what did I do. Well I went into the naval recruiter office to find out can I sign up. I weighed too much I was too fat I had to weigh 200 lb. So we traipsed off to the doctor's office to weigh me. The doctor scale couldn't weigh me and didn't go up high enough. Now I don't know whether this was planned to buy my mother or the doctor but they told us we're going to go down and weigh you somewhere else that we can weigh you.

"Okay, I guess that's what we'll do." So I go down to this cattle down they call that thing auctioning place and the guy tells me to go through that door. Okay, I thought this is strange and I open up the door and walk through it and of course it was smelled like cow that wonderful you know oh my God I'm in back in Wyoming again smell. Much better than chickens I'll tell you.

"Yeah just stand there in the middle of the room that way you'll be okay."

Or they sent me was a place where they weigh cows before they auction them off and it was a really big phone by the way and probably could have held possibly 10 cows at the same time. So there was some real bewilderment and embarrassment there for me. Well fine I found out I weighed 365 pounds. I had 165 lb to lose so I could join the Navy. Now this is back in 1980. The dieting scheme at the time was you eat a lot of carbohydrates because your body burns those first and you don't you know it's like okay believe me slowest way in the world to lose weight The hardest way actually. I now know better.

So I started walking we lived in Klamath falls it wasn't that cold there compared to Wyoming and they had this I guess it was a mountain I can't remember what it's called horseback mountain or Camel mountain or some damn thing. And I don't know how many times I walked up that mountain to the fire ranger station that was on top that watched for fires and back down town into Klamath falls. But I lost the weight it took me a year about a year. No I was dealing with a lot of drunken dysfunction in my household thanks to a step whatever you want to call him. I'm trying not to cuss if you don't mind. Yes not all my issues are solved, thank you.

So I went down to the recruiter station signed up my way 200 pounds just like they requested. And off to boot camp I went shortly after that.

Now while I was losing the weight I still had my friends that would squeeze my neck along the way but I still never connected it directly to sex because I didn't have a damn clue.

Not a damn clue and I had no one to ask either because it was an "embarrassing" topic. Believe me at the time there was no way in hell I could talk to my parents about being gay oh my goodness it would have been the end of the world. And in fact the only thing I remember at the age 13 I used to keep a diary all the time and that was because my grandmother told me I should so I did. And on one page of my diary I wrote, " I LIKE BOYS". And that was the end of the topic for me until I turned the age 21.

So I go into the Navy. I go in to boot camp weighing 200 lb. Boot camp was difficult like I expected it to be. But I made it through and passed all their little tests didn't drown in the pool. And when I left boot camp I weigh 200 lb. Of course my body had changed a bit because of boot camp. And I certainly learned what the difference was between my civilian left and my military left was.

Of course the entire time I'm in boot camp I'm surrounded by 80 guys all of them young like I am the majority of them attractive was nice bodies with nice legs but I discovered I have a lot of self control I didn't ask anybody to do nothing with me I was focused on getting through boot camp and doing my job.

I know there's stories out there of all these guys have sex while they're in the military and that's okay but I never experienced it I never approached anybody while I was in the military that was in the military with me for gay sex it just never happened because I still didn't have any idea what my sexuality was. I knew I wasn't going to have sex with a women because it just never came to mind.

So I get my 30 days leave between boot camp and my training afterwards. Which was absolutely wonderful by the way because I got to wrap my friend's legs around my neck again and got really really super hot squeeze for sure got to visit the family and and don't get my my boots all dirty with cow shit and all that fun stuff. I might not have been in Wyoming but my mother always had to have a cow or a beefalo or some thing too eat later on ain't nothing like raising your own hamburger. Yeah I'm a meat eater get over it, vegans shoo, go away. Although do I do have to say there have been a couple vegans that have had their legs around my neck and they were quite fabulous. I didn't care for what they called food because I've never been much of a rabbit food sort of person.

So I go to my training which was in Pensacola Florida. Right around hurricane Frederick in fact I arrived I think a week after it. So I missed all the fun but when I got a chance to go down to the beach to look at it cuz everyone told me how wonderful they were we were driving towards the beach. And I saw all this white snow like stuff up against all the houses. It turns out I didn't know this I'm from Wyoming I'm dummy All those beaches in Florida at least in Pensacola were sugar white I had no idea. I need to found out that it squeaks when you walk on it and it has a billion little tiny crabs. So why anybody would want to have sex on a beach no forget that cuz those crabs are really big and I've never had those little tiny crabs and I didn't want those other crap now forget it I am not a seafood person give me beef. beef. Where's the beef? Anyway.

Now while I was the training I ran into a friend of mine who grew up with me in Wyoming. And he was a 6-ft two or three foot tall guy and he joined the Marines. And of course he never squeezed me before because when I had the opportunity to have him squeeze me before he had just had surgery and he couldn't. He had something wrong with his ball and had one of them removed but he turned out just fine join the Marines now married has three or four kids I think he lives in Texas. Anyway I got to squeeze from him in about God probably 10 or 15 other guys this is while I was in training. Loved every moment of it.

Even had one guy that was going to beat me up for he was mad at me about some God damn thing. And he got me into a head scissors and tried to punish me with his legs. And he had absolutely beautiful legs I'll tell you that right now. I mean they were super well defined muscular any squeezed okay I mean enjoyed it even though he was supposed to be beating me up at the time.

I finished training and I go back to Wyoming to go visit my grandparents and aunt and uncle and all that and I have guess what another 30 days okay. I was in Wyoming I couldn't get away from the family because I didn't have a car and none of them would loan run around with him in a little bit.

Okay I found another issue in my past life then I haven't fixed yet or deal with. God no I have no dysfunctions in my past.

Then I go to my duty station and I'm there for a year and a half or something like that and of course I already told you about my weight. Also my duty station I did find a few guys that squeeze me over there doing that time it wasn't often but I was fine. But all this time still absolutely no sex and I wasn't even thinking about it not at all oh sure I would masturbate. And I would look at guys pictures like those bodybuilders and Spider-Man I love Spider-Man he was so sexy. And he's the only comic book character that I knew of than any did this in the '60s he would wrap his legs around his opponent's neck like a head scissors. I absolutely fell in love and I hadn't even been squeezed the first time and that picture just I fell in love I love Spider-Man. So incredibly sexy. I see these guys running around in Spider-Man costumes and have these great legs I want so much to have one of those guys in their costume to squeeze the fuck out of me just once or twice. Still to this day. Oh, on with the story.
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So I told you about my weight thing and the Navy told me that while I was in training by the way. That I have to lose more weight I have to wait 171 lb or less otherwise I am disobeying a command order or something like that you know from the Pentagon. We can't have any fat sailors they'll sink their ship.

So I went on the diet. Well guess what what do they have nothing but fucking carbs for miles. That's all they had on the dye line carb carb carb carb carb on the other line you could have normal food that isn't filled with carbs you know like meat and stuff like that. No we've got to have carbs. So I worked on dropping the weighqt. And all my classes head finished so I ended up having to do various nighttime watches in the buildings of the training center while I was waiting for them to finish up my background check for my clearance.

It's amazing when you get a clearance from the military they want to know everything and of course I told them everything. Well I knew one girl in high school there was an exchange student from Egypt. They actually went to Egypt and talked to the neighbors of this girl in Egypt because she wasn't in the United States anymore but back in Egypt and it took extra time. So the military also put money into getting my clearance and that extra money to check those other details to make sure that I was in some sort of a spy or some thing like that.

Then I go back to Wyoming for a couple weeks. No legs to play in at all. You can't leave the house you can't do this why would you want to go visit somebody else blah blah blah blah. I remember the conversation now.

Then I go off to my duty station. I'm at the top of San Francisco Bay skaggs Island naval communication center. It is now a very wet hole in the ground basically with some very hefty concrete bunkers where we used to work because of the communication center is no longer needed because now they use satellite. I don't know if they have any other communication setups elsewhere. Anyway.

I'm still dieting by the way. I finally got the command to give me money so I could buy my own food instead of having to go to the cafeteria and go through that ridiculous filled with carbs diet line which they had at the command. I'm glad I did because I started losing weight I went down to 181 lb. And then I developed esophageal reflux which is really bad when it gets really bad. I'm at work in my work area and I double over and absolute pain because I'm having the stabbing pains in my stomach and I have no idea why and that's what it was what it turned out to be is I was dieting so much and exercising everyday I was playing 1 to 2 hours of racquetball by myself by the way so I could lose weight. It wasn't an easy task but I was doing what I was supposed to be doing because I am a good sailor remember that.

So they gave me a waiver for the weight because of the medical problem caused by trying to lose weight. So I could wave 181 lb with the blessings of the government. Wasn't that really nice of them. At the time they were complaining because they couldn't get enough people to join the military yet they were kicking them out because they were overweight. And they were kicking people out that were solid muscle and wanting them to lose weight when there was no fat on them it was absolutely insane. I don't know if they're still doing that or not.

So I of course am at this new duty station of course I have to find some legs somewhere I had no idea where.

Luckily I had a car cuz I picked it up when I was in Klamath falls it was a 1967 Delta 88 with a 455 police interceptor engine in it and it had well this car was absolutely amazing. I mean I had it when I was in high school before we moved to Klamath falls.

And actually that car had this large bench seat as a front seat. And of course the bench seat in the back and it was a pretty big old car painted battleship Gray because it used to be a naval payroll running car they load up the payroll into it and take it to the base. So it had to be fast and whatever else. I loved it it was great I could push down that pedal and you'd sink right back into the bench seat and zoom you were gone.

I was telling you about head scissors wasn't I oh my God. I have a number of stories about that car. An Audi 100 something or other that had been rear-ended by a diesel truck on the highway. My mom bought it for $50 I needed a car in Spokane Washington at the time.1 The rear end look like an accordion. It had absolutely zero shocks in the back and of course I wasn't going to fix it and then had this big spider web crack on the windshield. It was in pretty bad shape. I love the Audi because you could fold all the seats down and it would make a big flat bed and it was perfect for having someone squeeze my neck between their legs That's one of the reasons why I like the cards still remember it so finally because I remember a couple guys that squeezed me in that car.

I know I I know go on with a story. So I get told by my command that they're going to have me weigh in every week and Make sure that I am keeping my word about watching my weight. Now I am going everyday to play racquetball for 1 to 2 hours by myself in most cases because I was never taught the rules to racquetball. And I would play a very very aggressive game when I played but I absolutely loved the exercise it gave me. And I don't know whether I got good at it or not. Anyway. So I did that and they said you'll get your next rank in 3 months. Okay fine.

3 months roll down the line and I received my check. My next pay raise is not there My next rank is not there. So I go down to the admin building which is a building I actually worked in. To ask what the hell is going on. Course I did a more respectfully than that maybe but I got there and I was told by whoever it was I can't remember who he was. That the command has decided that they're going to wait ANOTHER THREE MONTHS to give me my next rank. Mow I have been in the military for I don't know how long it was and I was still a damn E2. And the only reason I was still an E2 was because of this weight stuff. That was the last straw for me. I just got paid I'm in the military. I went over to the barracks and I went down to the little part of the hallway or my room was at and a few of my friends and I said, "isn't this pizza night at the club?" Well my friend said that it was. This is well we're going to pizza and I'm buying and everyone was absolutely shocked because I never partook in the pizza night at the club. Because of this weight program and trying to keep my weight down.

My friends tried to talk me out of buying pizza that night didn't last very long because I told him what happened when I went to the admin office. And I was pissed. I had been lied to. At a base where everybody has high level clearances they've been practically you know spelunkt up their ass and everything else just to give them this clearance. And believe me there's nothing scarier than NSA people they are very scary people very. But I was lied to and I was done. I mean you can lie to me about little things all you want but if you lie to me about a big thing and I find out that's it or whatever I have to do to fix the problem; change the situation; or cut the person out of my life I'll do it. Well I didn't have to cut a person from my life I had to gain some weight and get kicked out of the Navy because that's what the choices were. Wait another 3 months while my friends were just popping up you know old petty officer this and petty officer that and I'm still sitting here with at E2.

I'd taken courses to prepare me for moving up in rank all the way up to to the petty office and levels and took extra work. Some of it I had to do it behind it locked fucking door That's okay I did that because I happened to love the job.

But there's something that made it different is this one lie. And my commanding officer asked me. "Can you tell me why you want to get out of the Navy? I mean I could court Marshall you for disobeying a direct command order. "

I replied to him honestly. " Sir, when I joined the Navy I had to lose 165 lb to join. I wanted to be here. I love my job. I go to the racquetball court damn near everyday and I play racquetball so I can keep my weight down. And the chief has come woken me up while I fell asleep in the sauna because I worked out went to the sauna and fell asleep so I have witnesses that I've been doing this. And what this is turn this into is a horrible job when I was told that joining them Navy was going to be an adventure but I am never going to be held back by my weight ever again by anybody. I do my job and I do it well and I do it proudly and I do it because I care. And when I was lied to about my raise and my next rank I can't take that that's does not make sense to me. In any way shape or form. "

Now this was hard for the captain because there were a number of times I had taken care of babysitting his daughter if he had an event that he had to go to where he and his wife would attend but could not bring their kids. And he would specifically ask me if I would babysit her because he trusted me. Now I feel proud of that background and what I did in the Navy. I have no shame in it at all.

So that's how it went. Eventually I asked my captain if I could be relieved of duty because I was being processed out and was going to take a while I can't remember how long. Because I was dealing with classified material all the time and I told him I would rather be out of that space and not be around the classified material if I could be moved over to facility maintenance or something like that so for the last 6 months of my time in the Navy. I ran a riding lawn mower damn near on every lawn on the base and I continue to do that for 6 months. When I wasn't riding the lawn mower I painted murals and the space they use for Sunday school, I painted murals in the ceramic shop, and did whatever else. While I was in the Navy I was in two different plays at the club. I had to sing the song Tiny Bubbles at one of the base functions at the club. And actually this is the funny part they wouldn't give me the words and I had no clue what the song was about. Never heard it. So I asked the captain if he would come up and sing it with me. He said no and you're awfully audacious asking. Well I was audacious all right I'd had a few drinks and I love my captain I still do today I thought he was a good man. So I got the crowd in the room to start cheering for him to come up and sing with me so I could get the words to the song. I have a tendency not to take prisoners and that's okay. The captain got the words for the song and we sang it together. Anyway.

I finally get my last day and head off the base in my parents had moved from Klamath falls to Lewiston Idaho so I headed up there. Now I'd left some wonderful squeezers as I like to call them at the base. I think of them still today on occasion but I don't think of them in sexually. I don't think I can't think of them sexually because there was no sexual intent at all in the head scissors that they squeeze me with.

So I'm out of the Navy. Now I'll let you know I left the Navy with an honorable discharge because I was an excellent sailor The only thing was is I was fat and if they would have kept me around they could have used me as a cork to keep the ship up but because my butt floats it does it floats I don't know where that came from but it's there I've now told the world eeek!

So I get to Lewiston and I find a little tiny apartment it was a studio it had steam heating, a gas stove, and most of the building was empty but it was cheap and it was home it was near town near the store. And it was right next to a park right there in Lewiston the park was on top of Hill that overlooked the entire town and it was very nice of course it was summer time.

So I started going over to this park I can't remember what it was called but I noticed when I went over there I'd go out and look at that city and just relax and smoke cigarettes. I know so a bunch of guys running around and stuff and they came over and started talking to me and I didn't know anything. But where was that was where most of the gay guys would meet up for sex it wouldn't have sex in the park because it wasn't really any place to have it but they would meet there. That was the cruising spot.

And I lived less than a block away. Right next door was this highly theatrical drag queen. Down the way was a 6'4" tall drag queen name Tony. And I had no idea but I started talking to these guys and they were all cool but I had no idea I didn't know anything about my sexuality. So one night Tony and I are outside in the park and we're talking and I kept hearing this word gay and I don't know anything about this stuff but I kind of have a hundreds that I might be but I need to learn more. Is there something I can read that will tell me more about this. And Tony piped up and he said yeah there's a book that you can get. It's called THE JOY OF GAY SEX.

I asked him where can I get this book and he said just sounds a bookstore downtown. So the next day I go down to the bookstore. Going to the bookstore and I'm looking for this book THE JOY OF GAY SEX.

I can't find it and I was feeling a little weird about it but I had to go up and ask the girl at the front counter which was one of those counters that stood way up above everybody so they could scan the entire bookstore. And tell her I can't find THE JOY OF GAY SEX. And to my absolute horror this girl at the counter yells at somebody in the back of the store and says his name and she says, "Do we still have THE JOY OF GAY SEX? This guy can't seem to find it anywhere can you bring one up here? " Now I thought that there was going to be a riot and I was going to be killed by all the people that were standing around in this bookstore. We didn't have the internet back then people actually went to stores that sold books and people would buy these smelly books and take them home and they would get stacked up all over the place.

But I looked around me right after she said that and absolutely no one in this store even looked at me or even noticed me at all and this is in Lewiston Idaho. From that reaction in the bookstore, I assumed that it wasn't a being a big deal at all being gay that it's not really a problem and doesn't bother anybody. To this day I still think that it should be something that shouldn't bother anybody if you're not doing anything disgusting towards somebody who's not interested you know then why should they give a fuck.

So I bought the book went home and read the book cover to cover. When I was done and I finished it pretty quickly I now knew the answer to the question that I didn't even know the question and I knew. There was no coming out of the closet there was no long process of experimenting and all of that this book told me everything I needed to know. Including how to have sex how to meet people how to talk to them how to tell your parents that you're gay how to discuss being gay with somebody else it was very inclusive. And was actually an eye-opener to me because it was the first time ever I read any book at all in my life at that time that was solely on the topic of being gay. So I was out of the closet and I was done I knew what I was it was like finding out that I have a disease and all I have to do is suck a few cocks to cure it or in my case wrapped a lot of sexy muscular legs around my neck and masturbate like a fucking madman. Finally had a place to have sex with somebody and that's from in between their legs right where I want to be all the time damn.

So now I know I'm gay. I still wasn't having sex with anybody yet I did shortly after that not too shortly I don't think. But for some reason after I read that book a lot of these Guy started coming to me and asking all these personal questions that for like help you know. And I was able to give them some answers I guess. I don't know where the hell I got the answers at but I had them at the time. And in the meantime I would get some sexy legs around my neck once in a while and I would be thrilled as could be. But still no sex.

Enter the next door neighbor drag queen. He shows up with this guy can't remember his name right now I have it written down on a computer file. And I'm not going to go look it up because of the stories just too long and it would distract from what I'm doing here. I'm besides I'm still absolutely pissed about it anyway.

Now this guy was about 5 ft 7 in probably about 145 or 155 lb. Now he had blue eyes, dark hair, an absolute beautiful face, in a body that was super well defined White has ever clearest skin I'd ever seen in my life. And he was like a carbon copy of Peter Parker out of the Spider-Man costume. Now he was introduced to me by my drag queen friend as an escort. I think he called can't remember if they were used the word hustler or not. I'd stay used to be called anyway. But my drag queen friend said my friend will squeeze your neck for you?

Now you know that you've got a good friend when he delivers to you a man that is absolutely fabulous and presents him to you so he can pleasure you. I know it sounds corny as hell and just like part of the boys of the band but this hot sexy escort start squeezing my My neck really really tight. And it feels absolutely great now I've been squeezed so many times and usually the first tight squeeze the squeezer would feel a pop in my neck. And that's because when I get stressed it gets compressed and all they're doing is releasing a hell of a lot of stress. Will his first squeeze release the stress and I was in heaven oh my God it was great. Then he stopped. Which is what was supposed to happen. I told him, "Can you do it one more time just to make sure?” he agreed and of course his legs went around my neck again and he started squeezing and he started squeezing actually harder. And then it's kind of stopped all of a sudden and my thought was, " what the hell's going on here? " Scott was his name. Scott says, "what the hell you are enjoying this. I should charge you for this. " I was like what of course I'm enjoying it you released all that stress in my neck of course it feels great.

Scott explain to me which I didn't know about. "No you're sexually getting off on this I should be charging you. " Well we discussed this whole thing for a little while because I didn't know number one that it was turning me on so much that I could fold right into having sex while playing with my penis whatever as long as there's a pair of legs around my neck I'm fucking horny as hell anyway now. But he made me aware of it I had no idea it was all because a man that was built like Peter Parker that looked just like him, sexy as hell basically explain to me my fetish. Of course I asked him how much it would cost me to play around he says we'll probably cost you about $200 but are you kidding me $200 back in 1981 was a hell of a lot of money. And I told him it says no I'm not going to start paying for sex. So now you know a few things about me. Some of my background.

There's one thing about me and I'll tell you no probably other things I'll tell you too as I go along. And I don't care. If I see a pair of thighs that are sexy and they go by I'm going to turn my head and look and they're going to follow those legs all the way until they disappear. All the time I'm going to be thinking God I would love to have those thighs on my neck. It always through my mind anytime I see a pair of legs whether in person in a picture in a movie whatever.

But yes being squeezed for me does so many things for me.

1. It relieves my stress. After I've been squeezed by a pair of sexy thighs I am relaxed and one with the world again.

2. It lets me know that I belong right where I'm at. Someone has their legs wrapped around my neck and squeezing me I know for sure I am right where they want me to be. They want me right there between their legs right now this instant and I have the sexy muscular legs squeezing the fuck out of me to prove it.

3. It reminds me that I'm human and I belong here. It's kind of nice it's wonderful actually that's hard to explain in a lot of ways.

4. I feel welcome where I'm at like someone is welcome to me there Yes you're welcome here. I could tell you horror stories about not being welcome but I'm not going to right now.

5. It turns me on so very much. And it's really strange I have never ever in my life received a successful blowjob. To this day. And the reason why is because I haven't found anybody and I haven't even considered asking an escort to wrap their legs around my neck and give me a blow job while they are squeezing the fuck out of me. Unless they find that key for me to actually have an erection and an orgasm they have to wrap their legs around my neck. My penis just doesn't seem to work without it and takes a lot of imagination to get it up just to beat off.

So that's a little bit about my life and the scissors. I've been around a little while and I'm going to say well in my day. No I'm not one of those people. I just know that if there's legs around I'm going to look.

No I do have one caveat here that I need to add and I'm going to say it as clearly as I can. I'm basically discovered that I was gay and came out of the closet while I was in Lewiston Idaho. My very first sexual experience or what was supposed to be a sexual experience and was with an older man. No I don't know how old he was but he was an older man and he definitely looked older. He was a surgeon in town and he was a drunk. No he picked me up one night because I was encouraged by none other than one of my friends that I should go ahead and do this. So I get into the car and he takes me to his house. Now I am nervous as hell I don't know this guy at all and he was just all over me and just scared to live and fuck out of me so I was I hadn't even gotten dressed yet and I was out of that place so damn fast it was incredible. And I just don't like older men when it comes to sex and it doesn't mean that I wouldn't have sex with an older man. But it has to be very slow very gentle and it's not going to happen if you smell like you got booze on your breath. And it's not going to happen on the first time that we meet. I had a horrifying experience with that guy later I found out how crazy he really was. But I also have another incident in my earlier earlier years that I don't have a real clear recollection of but it's something that makes me really nervous when I'm dealing with people who are older than me.

I mean I'm 62 years old now is what 2023 so I am older but that doesn't mean that my age group has gotten to the point where I'm certainly okay with whoever cuz I'm not if I feel uncomfortable the answers going to be NO. And I'll just say everyone has a right to say no especially when it comes to having sex with someone else. I don't force myself on anybody and I don't believe anyone should be able to force anything on me if I say no I mean no if you say no you mean no. There's no maybe about it or no negotiation right now the answer is no. Could that change it all depends on however I don't know. And that goes to say with being squeezed if I don't feel safe I don't feel safe.