osakarob's blog

It would be fun and educational to read reviews about highly disappointing matches. But of course no one is allowed to write those reviews. I've had a good time in all my matches even if one guy turned a "pro" match into a workover and another guy(no longer on site) talked through most of the limited time we had and then said he had no interest in a rematch.

I echo BamaJ’s comment - we’re not allowed to post negatives on the site apart from a warning flag - but that doesn’t always tell the whole story.
I’ve found the best way to show a “not meet again” view is for them to be in your past list but don’t leave a recommendation.
There has, so far, only been one guy on here I would never meet again - he’s quite a prolific wrestler here in U.K. bit I’ll never meet him again for several reasons that I feel would be wrong to post because it would “out” who he was to any English lad with a relative level of intelligence.

In my opinion I don't think most guys would post a bad experience as a past opponent. Since it takes the other guy to confirm the meeting and fight before it's posted to your profile, I'd assume that the past opponents in a profile both had a good experience. Also I find it interesting when there is no reciprocal "recommendation" from some fighters. That could be a sign that it was a less than wonderful meeting...

I would add to your list when an opponent shows up and is significantly different from his pics and stats.

Or, a variation of this, when an opponent says they want one thing in messages, but then in person do or want something completely different. That’s a huge pet peeve of mine.

I hadn’t really thought about this, probably because I have been one of the lucky ones. But it's true that although the site doesn't directly prohibit negative reviews, in practice it does. After a match I tried to post a review right away. I couldn't because the opponent hadn’t acknowledged me as a past opponent. Someone who has misbehaved in some way probably won’t do that, knowing a negative review will follow. However, the other aspect of the issue is that people who misrepresent how meeting them would go are equally likely to post dishonest reviews about the victims of their misconduct, if they refuse to give the miscreants what they demanded. The red flags which you can use without an opponent's consent are better than nothing, although I have noticed that someone with a "no-show" flag often posts an "uncivil-bad manners" flag in response. So trying to protect others from a bad experience can leave you with your own honesty called into question. I'm thinking there's no real solution to this issue. If someone has a number of positive reviews that probably shows they aren't a psychopath. Even then, someone might be a good opponent for several matches but lose it for some reason when he meets up with you. Ultimately it's like with a lot of things, do the best you can beforehand to ensure a positive experience, but accept that there's no way to totally eliminate the possibility of a bad outcome.

The only reason I wouldn't meet someone again is because they were rude. The single bad experience I had in-person was with a guy who he kept pausing our session mid-way. It felt like he called for a "time-out" whenever I had the upper-hand in the match. For example, he did not like it when I put him in a headlock and asked me to avoid touching his head or neck area. Now how can someone wrestle without touching that section of the body?

I tried to be mindful of this rule but when I placed him in a chicken wing, he called "time out!" again and told me that I wasn't allowed to do that either. When I questioned what moves were allowed, he dove into a lecture about "appropriate" ways to wrestle. None of it made sense. I could not fathom anyone protesting such common moves. Yet, he took on a superior tone like he was speaking to a child that needed instruction.

Very little wrestling took place that day, only a lengthy presentation on the history of grappling with video examples from collegiate style matches. I asked why he didn't explain these expectations prior to us meeting. He said he assumed that I knew all this information already as no "real wrestler" would use headlocks, nelsons, chicken wings or similar low-tier moves.

I told him that none of my other opponents had ever complained like this, and he said they must have been "very forgiving" of my style. He went on to say that I clearly had enthusiasm for grappling and that's enough to make some guys happy, but he has superior standards.

Thankfully, this was a lone experience as I've had many fun times with other opponents before and after that meeting.

i am laughing when i read your comment (Sparrhawk). your past opponent should be posting guidelines on his profile about all the dos and donts so that we all can read it before before offering/challenging him to a match. sounds like he having superior standards, also never got him matches here (i assume he lecture on everyone he met and then took off his profile only to find that his standards of wrestling exist in a dojo/academy and not in Meetfighters). AND apparently he never watch pro wrestling on the television, nor if he attended/participated in real/amateur/collegiate wrestling, nor if he partake any MMA classes/sessions, otherwise he would have known that 'headlocks or any variety of it' are used in any kind of styles. it also sounds like he only do fantasy matches where he would describe the holds and you are a person who receive/dish it out pretend to put on the hold and expect to play the role.

I read a post years ago about a guy in Chicago for work. He met a guy for a wrestling session, he was inexperienced and his opponent took advantage of him sleepered him unconscious and took advantage of him.

I have also read about guys that push holds to far and injure guys.

I have experienced all the highs and lows but i cant say i will not complain about a few and wrote about them only to be told that my reviews are negative and needed to be taken down because meetfighters is not the site to write about bad reviews on past opponents. But having said that, I have been trying to be straightforward about guys that i would meet and wrestle at least once, and if the person turned out to be someone that I will not prefer to wrestle, i would be honest about it hoping that the other person will understand my preference, some obviously dont because they will label me as a racist and blocked me (question is why cant i exercise my preference of selecting wrestlers, when the profile part already stated so). I have been thinking about taking down my profile for good after several times getting blocked/ghosted for reason that I have no idea about but because of all the positives that i have encountered rather than the negatives (and i did meet wonderful people here whom i wish i am closer to them to wrestle them again), i kept it up as i learn that I can't please everyone here just like what I do in real life in the real world.

I'm shocked to read Rasslin Bodybuilder's comments that he has considered permanently taking down his profile after being blocked or ghosted. He's quite well known in North America and is seen by many on this site as a wrestling ICON! Please don't end things Rasslin Bodybuilder!

My peeve is guys that cancel in the last second, you drive a long way and then get canceled.

I agree with much of this article. Most of what prevents is this the admins aggressively removing any and all negative commentary no matter how it is phrased and further removing people from the site who complain about that (or most things) at all.

Thanks for the kind comments Osakarob, I never think of myself as that wrestling icon and being popular in North America, I know I’m pretty honest about my opinions and I think most of the time that gets me into trouble with guys that I don’t prefer to wrestle and have other wrestlers questioning about my past matches. I love to wrestle and as those who have seen my profile I usually job but can heel if wanted/ask to be. But wrestling is not my livelihood and I would probably have to retire from it at some point and continue my dream to be a professional bodybuilder, and looking from the scarcity of me having to beg for matches and still not getting any when I’m grounded in Texas is not making it any easier to not just hang up my boots and speedos earlier than anticipated, Covid has given everyone a valid reason not to meet up and I can’t fault everyone on that.

What an important conversation for us to have!

My biggest "hell no" is lack of sobriety. If we decide to have a snack, a glass of wine, and conversation in a public place together, then roll around in a fun erotic type of way, that is one thing. Showing up tweaked out is a whole other situation. I am upfront that this is off limits. I've had experiences like the latter.

My other pet peeve builds on that. What to do when you have a bad experience with a really well respected and reviewed wrestler on here. I've been fortunate to only have one bad situation like that (none of my past opponents... I'm not vague-booking!) But like how do you actually warn others that someone isn't what they seem? I think the review system here is purposefully generous to allow for individual members to change their behavior without a rap sheet that follows them. But legit, how do we account for things like crossing the boundaries of consent? Sexual assault (like sjwrestle brings up)? You have to really entrench yourself in the community to learn who the bad actors are.

There's also a sort of stigma about talking about bad experiences with well regarded wrestlers. It's like talking about the top jock in school will just get you shunned. I haven't had that experience but do know of a few others who have.

Finally, a huge pet peeve is when I'm in a city for work for a night or two and happen to pop on the site to check messages, and it changes my location, then folks who are like "wtf dude why aren't we wrestling asshole?" I'm probably working a 12 hour day and am, ah, enjoying the videos on here or something ;) I do travel to meet - just not usually while working.

I will always politely respond to a wrestling request, but a wrestling request is NOT a wrestling command. Folks, a friendly reminder: you do not have to do something you don't want to do, just because someone wants you to, ranging from a challenge on this site all the way to a wedding invitation. And you don't need to have any excuse for not wanting to wrestle that day, unless of course you've previously agreed to meet at a certain day and time. If you don't have plans, then you can decline a wrestling request just because you don't feel like it. Give yourself some grace to say no, and give others grace when they decline. "I'm not looking to wrestle today" is valid.

One thing I can do better is making more precise plans - I've had a couple non encounters because we agreed on meeting during a certain weekend, but then the times didn't work out because we didn't book it and then our calendars conflicted.

For me the biggest issue was when a guy turned up and his cleanliness issues far outstripped the wrestling experience to the point where I became a master at holding my breath for significant lengths of time until I could gasp for fresh air!

Amen! Nowadays I insist on a shower beforehand.

i have not had a lot of real enounters on here .. but not for lack of trying .. i find it odd that when you contact someone they don't have the courtesy to at least say thanks but no thanks. I realize that what i am looking for is not what everyone is looking for .. just like what they are looking for may not be what i am looking for but at least show some courtesy and respond to messages.

We have to remember that for some percentage of the guys on here, it’s not a wrestling site. It’s a hook up site. Your positive reviews, accurate pics, and well written profile aren’t what’s important to this segment of us. If your body type or age is out of someone’s preferred range, having your messages ignored, possibly not even read, says nothing about your suitability as a wrestling opponent. I don’t worry about lack of courtesy, that’s just the way it is.

I have one that lied about his age, lied about his physical stats, massively lied about his experience level and started stalking me every time I was on to a degree I had to block him from about 6 different sites and messengers.

Worst experience I ever had meeting someone from online ever, but on top of it had to deal with a bunch of people either "recommending" him or asking me if I had met him after the fact. It's a good example of why you can't just trust anyone online, and why people shouldn't interject opinions situations where they don't know the people involved or anything about their past experience.

Wild some of the stories some people have. I’ve been fortunate enough never to have a bad experience. But one guy I know was meeting someone in France and immediately after walking through the door, he started assaulting him with fists. Fortunately the guy was well trained and could throw the man off of him.