The_Kestrel's blog

Ah, that's no good mate! Hope writing about it has helped. And hopefully you're well on the mend now. Good luck with it all.

We often minimize the extent to which our minds and bodies are an integrated whole, and exercise can really help with keeping stable brain chemistry. It's amazing what perspective a good long walk can bring to things and if you're up for doing some more sweaty mat-based exercise that'll help even more. Wrestling: it's not just for the waistline!

Thanks for your contribution! And yes, I am trying to help myself with excercise, admittedly wrestling has been a bit dry (though planned a few matches for some annual leave I have comjng up). But I am taking myself to the gym most days, as the buzz I get after does make a difference.

All respect to you Kes for posting this, and I'd like to add my thanks and support. I'm in training to hopefully be able to offer help with this kind of situation in the future, &I particularly hope to be able to work with guys if things work out. We need efforts to break down our taboos surrounding this area, as well as getting more mainstream acknowledgement, acceptance and support. Thanks for posting the links - take a look at them, fellas.

Squashlad makes a good point - the simplest exercise such as going for a walk can really help. Without wanting to belittle the tone of this, wrestlers know all about its attendant anti-depressive benefits, but those of us who aren't lucky enough to have access to it can still do well by just getting out of the house.

Thanks a lot Kes, for screwing up the courage to post. Through your guts, you can help a lot of us out there with this. I'm sure I join others in sending you my best wishes for your journey back to happiness. Keep us posted, buddy.

Thanks for posting. I feel your pain and hope for your continued improvement. Live your best life.

Thanks for the comments guys! Some very warming words there 👍

Please note this blog is not a search of sympathy, more as a contribution to raise awareness for mens mental health. It is the biggest reason for suicides in men, especially young and middle ages. There is a lot of support for when tjings go wrong, this is more to get guys thinking before they reach a breaking point.

Umm, if I can risk your ire for a moment, I'd notice that the need to say that this isn't a search for sympathy is all too typical... Such fears are one of the things that stop us seeking help early enough. Notcom's comments below on vulnerability might be relevant.

I'd say that it's totally clear that you're trying to raise awareness and help out other men, and for that: many thanks.

Hi Kestrel,

Firstly CONGRATULATIONS on achieving your wellbeing after difficulties and also your EXCELLENT blog on depression and its effect on men.

This blog is long overdue and I hope positive things come out of it for both yourself and many, many more men.

Getting back to grappling, I remember, back in the day, when I was doing some no gi training, I kept on getting ‘caught’ by one or two moves. The fact that I could see a pattern to these moves helped me to realise that this was something I could work on in my ‘ground game’.

This I did, in various ways and in various possible scenarios.

Essentially, I understood and worked with my vulnerability in some areas of grappling to give me more resilience on the mats and more of a chance when I grappled.

It took time, determination, focus and MUCH support from the people I trained with, but I got better in my grappling.

It can also be the same for depression with men.

There is a lot of great information, awareness and SUPPORT out there.

I agree totally with Kestrel that it is now up to us men to start the conversation and the journey towards wellness and wellbeing

FYI to help with this, outside of the UK, I have added some official sources of information and support with mental and emotional wellbeing for men in various languages as well as English.

As ‘The Greatest’, Muhammad Ali said “It isn’t the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it’s the pebble in your shoe”.

Here’s wishing you all, Kestrel included, strength and support with your journey.

Australia - https://mensline.org.au/the-tips-and-tools/emotional-wellbeing/

Australia - https://www.beyondblue.org.au/

New Zealand - https://depression.org.nz/

United States (in English and in Spanish)
https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/men-and-depression/index.shtml

Canada - (in English and in French)
https://cmha.ca/

Canada (in English)
https://headsupguys.org/

World Health Organization (in Arabic, Chinese, English, French, Russian and Spanish)
http://www.who.int/mental_health/management/depression/en/

Brilliant response and thanks for adding the further links 👍

Wishing you well, Kestrel.

I will hold my hand up proudly and say that I have suffered as well.

If people can just talk it works wonders.

And yet you are the biggest mouthed jobber of the norf! Good to hear yer a positive example of someone coming out the other end 👍

For those of us who have been or are where you at, we can say you are taking the right steps...a few pieces at a time....we have to practice mind health just like we have to develop body health...and don't feel bad if you have to fake being ok once in a while

Kes you are a top fella and a top mate. Anytime you need to talk just ask. I myself have gone through the mill the last couple of years . Im lucky as i have a supportive partner but, mental health is a serious matter that men should address as well as other conditions . Never be afraid to talk . Cry and contact a GP or other medical proffesional . Kes always here bud love ya mate x

very useful blog and very well articulated Kes

glad youre fighting it effectively

Good for you for raising it. Hope you continue to manage it well.

Not all men.

Hence why it does not say all men, it is a general label applied to us, so that is what is being addressed.

Just do what you need to do Kes, it will all turn out in the end.

It is dangerous to exclude anyone as EVERYONE is at risk so the more people read it the better.

Hi Kes. Just a quick note to say that I will mention this blog on my profile page on MF and invite my profile readers to check your blog out too. Hope this helps a bit to get the message out there !

Please feel free to do so if you feel it will help raise awareness, thanks 👍

Nice thought. 🙂

All the best Kes, hopefully the worst is over.
Hugs
David

Hey Kes,

Thanks for sharing, you have addressed an important issue. Keep up with the management plan and it will get better. 😉

Great post, bringing awareness is important!