Boxer_Daddy's blog
BOXING RANT XVII: Coming to Terms with your Kink late
I’ve got a question: Why do men wait so late in life to come to terms with their attraction for Boxing? In truth, I believe I briefly spoke on this before… so I’d like some fresh perspectives.
In this current day and age with homosexuality being more widely accepted, why are men still waiting till they are past 40 & 50 to accept the fact that they’re “Agonophiliacs” - https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Agonophilia. Where is the shame? Given many people’s perception of gay men, how cool is it to defy the odds and present an entirely different aspect of a stereotypical image. What’s more masculine than a man that enjoy hitting on men? You like my pun there?
Interestingly, I know a guy that was quote straight unquote and didn’t want to tell his friends and family that he boxed because they would discover he was gay. WHAT THE ENTIRE FUCK?!?!?! I guess that should give you some idea of how screwed up some guys are in the head. But seriously… what’s the deal? If anyone watched Spartacus there were plenty of gay fighters in Greek times. Lord knows Knights were fucking their squires when the women were claiming virginity and rocking chastity belts.
Too often men deny their true selves only to have it forced to the surface later in life. I say Embrace ALL facets of your being and be who you were meant to be. You will NEVER look back and regret what you’ve done.
Special NOTE: Many of you might be surprised at the number of Pro and Amateur gay boxers out here.
Boxhard (115 )
12/10/2021 9:05 AMI'll chime in.
It's because we're taught at a young age to keep arousal a secret. We're raised with shame for doing "dirty things" to ourselves. Whenever I'd see guys fighting, that arousal feeling would instantly come & I'd avoid it at all costs in the public eye. Meanwhile deep in our bedrooms, we'd imagine getting into scraps with guys, then carry on with our day. That was it.
For myself, it wasn't until I had quit my job & went on a road trip where I had a fit of aggression to get out in the moment. It was purely by chance that I got my first boxing match & had a paradigm shift; that overwhelming feeling of "THIS is what I've wanted all my life!"
It took my until age 32 to realize this & boy oh boy... if only I could go back to certain points of my life knowing what I know now. But alas, that's how it is with a lot of things.
Andi2 (3)
12/12/2021 5:54 AM(In reply to this)
For me that is only part of the story. Being Gay and coming out was one hellified struggle, but iv had gut punching boxing fetishes since I was a kid, rough housing with school mates on the play ground. For most straight guys it's a right of passage and not sexual.Yet some women seem to almost get sexually aroused watching boxing matches. And the loosely clad girls holding up the ring # cards between rounds are definitely there for sex appeal. In my openion There is a fine line between the violence of boxing and sexual arousal . It is one thing to gain acceptance for being gay. Add boxing, gut punching fetish to that and even gay people scorn you, and label you wierd , or mentally disturbed or both. When I do trust someone enough to tell them. The first thing they say is iv never heard of anyone doing that before. So the stigma of being into boxing / gut punching is more prevalent than being gay. We are very much on the DL like nothing else.
.
Gutboxer (48)
12/12/2021 4:57 PM(In reply to this)
I myself started with my Gutpunching Fetish when in Grade school. I found that I enjoyed watching TV wrestlers and when a guy was getting his gut pounded in the ring corner I recorded as much as I could catch. I then wanted to feel a fist PUNCH MY GUT. I asked the older neighborhood Bully to punch me in the gut. He did this more than once and I LIKED IT! It continued through my cousins, random guys, and my partner for 26 years till he passed away. I finally had the chance to be gut punched in a ring and that man/Daddy is Boxer_Daddy who I have had work me over on many occasions. Local guys have come and go, but this year I have been gifted with my own Gutpunching Boxing Son.
bnjifghtr (2)
12/12/2021 6:28 AM(In reply to this)
Well said my friend . .
bnjifghtr (2)
12/12/2021 6:30 AM(In reply to this)
Already told you . , but again. . . , Loved reading your story on your profile as well
SilverFoxFight (38)
12/10/2021 1:00 PMAs for me, I had two issues one developmental (late puberty) and one "familial" (I guess you'd call it); I became involved with Fundamentalist religion about the same time I was treated for the physical condition. Fundamentalists of all kinds have a condemnatory attitude towards sex. There was no attempt at education or even dialoging about the issue; marriage was the only "answer" and many of us guys were pressured into unhealthy marital relationships long before we were mature enough to understand our sexuality or take on that kind of responsibility. I was an angry, horny, Christian boy who wanted to fight for over twenty years before finally daring to explore the martial arts! Thanks for your post...I will be glad to chat more about it with anyone. Deano
WrestMan1994 (1)
12/10/2021 5:54 PMI knew I was an agonophiliac at the tehnder age of 3, when my parents put on a Mike Tyson event and I got the sudden urge to want to hump everything. It wasn't until my early 20's I found out that what agonophilia was and why I could watch porn get the sudden urge to jack off and dump a load onto a towel after watching a guy get knocked out or choked out. I'm still new accepting that I'm always gonna get turned on by men fighting. So I made this account a week or two ago to find guys who just want to throw some knucks around and also wrestle.
Ironbull (96)
12/10/2021 5:59 PMI came to boxing late but not as a sexual thing. It was more a matter of holding on to a little of who I have been over the past few decades. Personally I don't care if the guy in front of me is gay or straight. I'm looking at his hands, not his crotch.
However, and it's a big however, I find it really hard to hit a handsome face... Believe me that has cost me dear in sparring more than once. The most handsome faces to me are the faces of men putting themselves out there, trying to be the best of themselves. It mesmerises me. It makes me all avuncular and somehow protective of them. Now that is a bitch because the bastard is still trying to hit me.
There are so many forms of homosexuality. The gay/straight thing is an unnatural fault line created by under-developed social science and the hysterical media of the 80s and 90s. If it is so individual, what's to fess up to? A label? A word?
grkwrestler (1)
12/10/2021 10:46 PM(In reply to this)
Agree the gay/straight thing isn't a fault line. Always thought sexual orientation is on a continuum with gay at one end, straight at the other and bi in the middle. People's sexuality can be located anywhere on that progression
Boxer Daddy (48)
12/10/2021 9:25 PMGREAT Comments guys these are all Fresh accounts I had not thought about. FYI, I knew about my kink before I accepted my sexuality. But after coming out I began my quest to TRULY understand my attraction. After that I NEVER looked back and have been encouraging others ever since. Just ask my Boxer boys & Punch Chumps.
KOFistBoxer (2)
12/11/2021 12:24 AMI don't think it has anything to do with being gay, there is a stigma around fetishism and kinks in general. Most people with them don't admit it unless they are around others with a similar disposition.
As for why some don't admit it to themselves, I can't speculate much past it must be some sort of feeling of shame or think it makes them strange or means there is something wrong with them. Especially if they think no-one is like them. Though in some cases they just develop later (just as the people into it young tend to get into more extreme things later.)
SpeedBag-Guy (0 )
12/11/2021 5:32 PM(In reply to this)
I agree a lot with him, sometimes sexuality is not so relevant. There are times when accepting such type of fetishes should be something personal for us and not be very demonstrative about it and know when to share it with someone in common.
Mainewrsl (45)
12/11/2021 4:19 PMI think KOFistBoxer nails it. Kinks develop later in life for many guys, myself included. Coming out is a lifelong process, and many of us start out relatively limited in our outlook. As we develop more experience, though, we become more accepting of wider experiences, and expand our ideas about what it means to be gay and what gets us hard.
SpeedBag-Guy (0 )
12/11/2021 5:32 PM(In reply to this)
Same here.
anorakage (0)
12/13/2021 10:59 PMI practiced karate when living in Canada in my early 20'.
Later over the years, around 35 yo I had this opportunity to join a muay thai gym, at recreational level, and kept training twice a week for 8 years.
The sparring gear always turned me on.
I remember this chinese guy who trained one year, I was like fascinated when watching him hitting the heavy bag and did my very best to face him when sparring ....
Being now way over 50, I keep training alone in my basement twice a week always thinking and watching same minded guys like me ... and you !
BOXERMAN (39)
12/14/2021 5:58 PMMen:
This might sound a bit heady but here goes:
I like to hear about guys' journeys to welcome and integrate their Warrior Archetype. Each one of us has a King ,Warrior, Magician and a Lover in his psyche. Often our jobs and life invite us to utilize the King, Magician and Lover, but rarely do we incorporate and EXERCISE the WARRIOR. As noted previously in other men's stories , I went through a few stages of exploring fight fetishes–from that initial arousal from television, movies and real life to actually desiring to learn how to box and then stepping into a ring. It was a progression that started as a boy, with my dad inviting me to learn how to fight in the basement. I was scared to death.
Later coming out as a gay/bi man and exploring what that meant was the gateway to healthy sexuality. Integrating boxing and fighting into myself (thinking i was the only man) took another gateway when I decided to learn how to box after fantasizing about when I was fucking or satisfy myself in sexual situation. That new gateway led me to alot of training, goal setting and finally boxing in a contest in San Francisco. And meeting/boxing some of the closest friends Ive ever had.. including men that could have been my brothers or lovers. And that continues to this day/
And now, I am here among you fine warriors. Why does it take so long? Men in their 30- 40s want to fight.. its a new challenge and internally they know need to do it. Hank Trout said that In Every Man theres a fight. As gay or bi men. we are cultured to competitive in other ways.. Physical combat is not always one of them
Great to be here.. Great to continue this work and discussion /
Bob Butts
Boxerman
Boxer Daddy (48)
12/14/2021 8:42 PMAgain, GREAT Perspectives. I'd like to add, I know for myself it took me a while because I didn't see other guys like myself expressing a desire to fight AND make love to men. It's one of the reasons I write and continue to publish book(s) on the subject. I don't want other young men to grow up with no one or no where to turn to having identified their kink desire.
I joined the leather community hoping to find other men like me, but didn't. It wasn't until I won an Int'l contest on my fetish that men came out of the woodwork letting me know they had the same kink. Soon after my leather organization incorporated my kink - Heavy Impact Play into their curriculum for pledges. And more recently guys have told me how my pictures in Boxing gear from past photo shoots helped them to step forward and embrace their kink.
We've identified many problems/issues here. Let's move forward and help others to overcome their adversity.
Keep your guard up and come out punching
Boxer Daddy Doc
Dino (16 )
9/02/2023 12:15 AMA little late to this thread but thought I'd share my experience.
I've been turned on by Boxing and other combat sports for as long as I can remember (Definitely a fascination when I was a child). Then at 12/13 it was my first experience similar to porn, I googled some the Klitschko brothers and WBA since I saw it in the local news and never looked back since. Used to think most people felt the same, until I joined social media and spoke to other guys...Finally towards at 18 I wanted to explore more and found this website.
I've always been open about this fetish, even on dating apps its the prime focus of my profile. Some people even want to try it out and are intrigued. (In these 10+ years, only had one person on a Scruff say that I had a mental illness for having this fetish but i brushed it off - though surprising as he came from a country thats quite open about these things but oh well).
Main challenge was that where I am, there were either hardly that many people into it OR they were mainly into wrestling.
Had a few boxing/kickboxing encounters which were super fun and I really want a lot more of them.
Ive always been true to this desire and have never had the urge or interest to watch porn or hook up with regular sx and all that stuff. I hope people out there do find their way much sooner and not waste their time with hookups that dont satisfy them.
(Also would love some tips on how to pick up men for potential spars etc - The other day at a store I had a guy behind me where these sexy Muay Thai trunks and I couldnt resist. Though didnt chat him up as I dont know how I'd go about it in this context.