ArmyVetGrappler's blog

Preferences, we all got em.

Earlier in the chat, I saw someone state that they prefer younger men. Then I saw a few people reply with stuff like, "older men know more!" Or, "ageist!" Stop trying to change someone's preferences because you don't fit in with their fantasy.

I personally prefer men older than me, but I cannot tell you how many times I've been told by older men that they don't like younger men. Or I see on their profiles stating, "guys 45 and over only." Those same guys calling out the guy who prefers younger men won't say anything about that though. The profiles I see saying that, I'm not going to message them saying, "You're an ageist!" or "Younger guys are better!" Because why?

Everyone has preferences! Again, stop trying to change someone's preferences just because you don't fit within their fantasy. Trying to do so not only makes you look bitter, but it also makes you look like a bully.

Thank you.
-Mic drop-

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Last edited on 9/13/2023 6:48 PM by ArmyVetGrappler
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Comments

29

JW130kgYYC (4 )

9/13/2023 7:16 PM

Very true. Very fair.
You're not going to be everybody's cup of tea. To say nobody has preferences would be a complete and total lie. We all do. The question becomes how do you address them without being a jerk. I don't believe in ageism just like I don't believe in body shaming. Neither are helpful; neither are healthy.

I appreciate your positive outlook and commitment for a healthy and vibrant community. Huge props to you.

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Bighouse (1)

9/13/2023 8:15 PM

I have absolutely no issues wrestling with a younger man. What they bring is inspiring showing me their gusto, strength and who are open to other wrestling related options.

I will wrestle with ArmyVetGrappler as I,too, am an Army Vet!

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heelyouguy (1)

9/13/2023 9:23 PM

(In reply to this)

Definitely agree.Younger guys are often bright, upbeat and maybe cocky lol.Mature guys can feed on that enthusiasm.

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JW130kgYYC (4 )

9/14/2023 12:29 AM

(In reply to this)

Those who put on the uniform are very much deserving of respect. Both yourself and AVG certainly demonstrate the best of the Service.

FWIW, I hope one day to lock up with you as well. Would be fun.

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ordjbr (69)

9/13/2023 8:19 PM

So true budā€¦and kudos to the folks who share there preferencesā€¦.like anything else in the worldā€¦.all about mutual respect ā€¦.kindness and respect go a long way to making someoneā€™s day a little better šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»

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ordjbr (69)

9/13/2023 8:19 PM

So true budā€¦and kudos to the folks who share there preferencesā€¦.like anything else in the worldā€¦.all about mutual respect ā€¦.kindness and respect go a long way to making someoneā€™s day a little better šŸ‘šŸ»šŸ‘šŸ»

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BamaJDon41 (10 )

9/13/2023 9:11 PM

Older guy looking for a jobber often wants a younger guy when that is part of the fantasy as he may have no interest in older jobbers.
Older guy looking for real competition may not want younger guys because it presents too much of a challenge and he doesn't want to lose that match or risk being completely outclassed.

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Juggernaut (0)

9/14/2023 6:00 AM

(In reply to this)

The reasons are endless. In fact, in a lot of cases they may not even make sense. But since they're totally your own, others just have to learn to accept them.

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Juggernaut (0)

9/14/2023 5:55 AM

Well said. The only thing I might add is for anyone that has a cardinal rule or absolutes requirements, please list them first or highlight them. That way, anyone that takes an interest in your profile will know immediately whether they fit without the need to read through the entire contents.

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Juggernaut (0)

9/19/2023 5:54 AM

(In reply to this)

LIST YOUR PREFERENCE – especially age. That way no one outside that number will bother you. Actually, that's not true. The truth is, I won't bother you. I actually read the profiles/intros. The issue is where there's nothing there to go by.

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KOFistBoxer (2)

9/14/2023 9:29 PM

For some reason this site won't let me give the thumbs up anymore but totally agree. Not sure when so many guys on a "fighting site" got so insecure and censorious and many who criticize the perfectly reasonable preferences of others have plenty of their own. I guess they just can't handle rejection, even if it's indirect.

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Juggernaut (0)

9/15/2023 3:49 AM

(In reply to this)

To be frank, it doesn't even need to be reasonable. No one should ever need to have to explain their preference, or why they feel the way they do to anyone. At least not in cases such as what's being discussed here.

My biggest grip is with the guys that aren't forthcoming enough in their profile. Even if you don't know what you want, you should have some idea of the things you don't like. Give the reader something to go on other than "I like to wrestle in a Speedo."

Its the same when in the chat rooms. Don't beat around the bush and waste the time of others. Don't make it like pulling teeth either folks. If you have a "must have", "must do", or "only interested in", state that in your intro, and hopefully, no one will bother you that doesn't fit your description.

P.S. Yes, I know.

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KOFistBoxer (2)

9/14/2023 9:41 PM

And on a side note, real "ageism" refers to things like in the job market, unfairly assuming someone can't do a job they are qualified for, solely based on age. It's not something that legitimately applies to something so heavily physical like combat sports or physical attraction.

If someone's on the younger/fitter end of the spectrum, them not being interested in an advanced-age senior citizen, who is decades past the age range even the top pro athletes have retired by, it not some form of unfair bigotry... it's perfectly normal, reasonable and expected. You can't guilt and bully people into finding you attractive or thinking you are a good match for them when you aren't by just beating these ridiculous, tired college buzzwords to death (no matter how many other clowns on the internet you see doing just that). No one is entitled to anyone else's time or attention. That needs to be earned and their stated preferences should be respected.

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

9/15/2023 12:53 AM

Offering advice to other people isnā€™t trying to change their preferences or opinion. Its just offering advice.

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ArmyVetGrappler (9 )

9/15/2023 1:12 AM

(In reply to this)

The way it was worded in the chat was, "Older men are better," in response to someone saying they prefer younger men. That doesn't really sound like giving advice to me.

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

9/15/2023 1:14 AM

(In reply to this)

That wasnā€™t how it was worded but ok.

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ArmyVetGrappler (9 )

9/15/2023 1:18 AM

(In reply to this)

It absolutely was, but okay.

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

9/15/2023 1:22 AM

(In reply to this)

Nope. It was just pointing out that on average, older heels might have more experience and could be enjoyable. He wasnā€™t asking for just younger but younger heels. So offering that as advice isnā€™t a criticism of oneā€™s choices. But keep living in your myopic world.

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ArmyVetGrappler (9 )

9/15/2023 1:30 AM

(In reply to this)

I saw what was said. So there's really no need to fabricate. It's fine to think that older heels might be more knowledgeable, but that's not how you worded it. It sounded like you were discrediting younger fighters.

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

9/15/2023 1:32 AM

(In reply to this)

Then you really need to work on how you things because I know what was said.

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ArmyVetGrappler (9 )

9/15/2023 1:33 AM

(In reply to this)

As do I. We done here?

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

9/15/2023 1:36 AM

(In reply to this)

Let me know when your done calling the waaambulance.

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ArmyVetGrappler (9 )

9/15/2023 1:38 AM

(In reply to this)

Aww you're being a child because you got called out. šŸ˜‚ Don't worry, you'll be okay.

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Andrew Bluebear (3 )

9/15/2023 1:40 AM

(In reply to this)

Nah. Jaut stating the obvious given your post šŸ™‚

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Iwreslinca (31 )

9/16/2023 6:24 PM

This is a great thread. For me the total surprise as an older jobber is that there are younger guys who love to heel! And to my utter amazement, many of these encounters have led to wonderful friendships and repeat sessions.

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spiilitwill (41)

9/18/2023 12:51 AM

My preference isnā€™t towards age but size, Iā€™ll happily wrestle guys over 65 but when guys weigh more than 30lbs heavier than me I wonā€™t do competitive matches and guys over 200lbs I just wonā€™t wrestle as thereā€™s too much room for injury on me. The amount of hostility Iā€™ve received from guyā€™s way bigger than me is absurd n uncalled for.

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Juggernaut (0)

9/18/2023 1:50 AM

(In reply to this)

A ridiculous attitude for them to have if you ask me. Nor do you or should you be required to explain your "preferences" to anyone as they are uniquely to you, and they likely wouldn't understand or make sense to them anyway. From their perspective, the imbalance my seem trivial or inconsequential, but can be a major hindrance to person that's being challenged.

My preference would be someone tall and athletic, both of which are rare. But because that is my preference, does not mean the same exclusive.

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Halfcain46 (21)

10/05/2023 2:07 PM

I personally donā€™t care about oneā€™s age. Iā€™ve wrestled men from 20 to 70. If there is common interest, good communication, and great vibes the match will always be good.

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Juggernaut (0)

10/06/2023 5:50 AM

(In reply to this)

We all have preferences

As the title states we ALL have preferences. For some its age, but it could just as well a dozen other things. I thinks its less about chronological age and more about fitness level and health. But even that's still a preference.

Wrestling is a sport, and like any sport it require some measure of physical prowess and stamina. Those things typically decrease with age. So its only natural that some people will value that far about the knowledge or wisdom gained through training or experience. If I were 20, I'd definitely look for someone older and smarter than me. But how much older all depends on what they can do.

In addition, I suspect a larger number of members here chose according to physical attraction – despite this not being a standard dating website – people are still here for that. That's something I've learned through experience, after several potential opponents asked me for a face pic, then vanish instantly after it wasn't provided. If my primary goal is wrestling/fighting, why would I care about someone's face pic?

Anyway, whether physical, social, emotional, etc., people will chose those that are like themselves, or that they're attracted to long before anything else. In some cases, even discounting all reason and logic to that end. Since we're all younger at some point, we know how superficial the younger generation's thinking processes can sometimes be.

On the bright side, the list of candidates is so vast, that for every person that has a disinterest due to age, there's someone that doesn't put their primary value to numbers. For those that still do, that will all change as they themselves get older. Or maybe not? šŸ˜•

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