mason brooks's blog

Check out my watchfighters page and let me know what you think. There’s a bunch of free previews to give you a sense of what my stuff is like. And if there’s something in particular you’d like to see in a custom match, give me a shout! - Mason

https://www.watchfighters.com/channels/mason_brooks

“It's very strange, I thought, but things are so unreal for them normally that they believe that to call a thing by name is to make it so. And yet I am what they think I am.” - Ralph Ellison, Invisible Man

“I am upset because I was not the center of attention and nobody said I was the prettiest.” - Blanche Devereaux

Today a friend sent me a screenshot of a tumblr post with pictures of my BG East match with Chace LaChance. The author had written a story to go along with the pictures, similar to the match descriptions on the BG East website, that focused on the contrast between Chace’s body and mine. “There’s something appealing about seeing a younger tanned built dude...take on an older fit DILF!!!” it begins. He’s described as having “more time for the gym” while I am “too busy with the kids to work out...but still in good shape.” The description goes on in this vein, and at one point the author imagines Chace taunting me by calling me “old timer.”

Now, I won’t lie—my first reaction was shock, and my reply to my friend was a gif of a man jumping out a window, which I meant as a joke, mostly. As much as I should be flattered being called fit or a DILF, I couldn’t help but focus on the negatives. Part of me wondered, why drag my 37-year-old butt to the gym 4 times a week if I’ll just end up looking like I’ve let myself go?

But then I put my Professor Hulk glasses on and thought about it some more. The author wasn’t trying to insult me—he doesn’t know me. He was just using my image to get across a certain idea he has in his head that turns him on. And so what if he or his readers think I look a little soft next to a professional fitness model? The images on gay tumblr mostly come from a fantasy world where you can get huge just from working out regularly, and anyone who isn’t jacked must not be trying. I know that I work hard to stay in decent shape on top of my other responsibilities. And part of the effort required to look that big is taking in a huge amount of calories each day. I tried that for a while and mostly felt miserable (and very gassy). Oh! And most importantly, I reminded myself that the guys who really turn me on tend to be on the slender side—the Kirk Donohues and Skrappers and Christian Taylors—than guys with exaggerated muscular physiques. So why in the world would I beat myself up over not looking a way that I don’t personally find that attractive to begin with? It’s madness, and all comes back to our need for outside approval to counter the insecurity we feel inside.

I’m still gonna hit the gym tonight—back and biceps—and remind myself that I’m not accountable to anyone but the guy in the mirror, who I think looks okay the way he is, though there’s always room for improvement. And maybe I will suggest that BG East start a “Dueling DILFs” series, where average-looking suburban dads wrestle in a secret basement while their wives and kids are sleeping. :)

-Mason

Yet do I fear thy nature,
It is too full o' th' milk of human kindness
To catch the nearest way.
-Macbeth Act 1, scene 5, 15–18

It’s no secret that most of us enjoy the sexual aspects of wrestling, and that, when it comes to sex appeal, some of us are more blessed than others. Much has been written about the tendency of gay men to compare ourselves to others and to become depressed when confronted with images of idealized male bodies. I keep this in mind whenever I receive a match request from someone who, for one reason or another, isn’t my type. Plenty of guys have turned me down over the years, so I know that rejection can sting, and the last thing I want to do is make anyone feel worse about themselves simply because they don’t have a perfect body. My standard response is something like, “Sorry, I’m not interested in meeting up, but I wish you the best of luck.” I want to be polite and kind, but also to be clear in communicating my lack of interest, since there’s nothing I hate more than being led on.

It’s frustrating, then, when I turn a guy down, and despite my effort to be polite and kind, he becomes abusive. Today I gave the response above to a guy who was a little out of shape and had no previous matches in 4 year—usually a red flag, but he had been very complimentary about me and my videos. He responded,

“K can see your just a conceided prick so the compliments I take back you don't deserve them. Your nothing but a shallow heartless coward who thinks they are better than everyone else your younger than me but have the face of an old man. I feel sorry for your family loser.”

I’m on a wonderful vacation with my boyfriend right now, but I can’t stop thinking how sad and lonely this person’s life must be to lash out in this way. It reminds me of all the times I’ve felt down after a guy liked my body but not my face, or told me I just wasn’t his type, and it bothers me that I contributed to someone else feeling that way. He blocked me after sending the insulting message, but if I could reach out to him, I would encourage him to think about doing something kind for another person as a way to counteract the self-hate that seems to drive his anger.

Lady Macbeth feared her husband was too nice to succeed, and although the Scottish play is a tragedy, it’s hard to disagree that both characters get what they deserve. We are joined by our desire to engage in physical struggle, to test our strength against others, and to connect on a primal level. But that doesn’t mean we have to be animals to each other, or view each other as pieces of meat. We should endeavor to treat the guy we want to pin down and fuck with as much respect as the guy we don’t. The milk of human kindness is a precious commodity, and when our community devolves into name-calling and verbal abuse, we have only ourselves to blame.