blakore's blog

I find myself moving further and further away from wanting to engage in competitive fights. Don’t get me wrong, I love to wrestle competitively; defeating someone who you know did their very best is a heady rush unlike most. But I live in the capital of Sweden, and if I seek that I can simply join one of the many clubs near me. No, what I seek here (and on MANY other forums, for we are all desperate) is the raw, sexual, erotic pleasure I gain from engaging in one of my greatest fetishes. Wrestling, and more specifically, winning and dominating my opponent(s).

(That time with 2 against me where I can honestly say I did pretty good considering will probably be one of my fondest memories)

But in here lies the issue, Winning and dominating my opponent. And if you haven’t already seen my profile or checked my height/weight ratio, then let me tell you a universal fact:

I am a twink.

I am the twinkiest of twinks. I’m slim, thin, and look like a gust of wind will blow me over. Only the fact that I usually have at least some stubble on my face discourages the belief that I’m still a teenager. The adjectives usually prescribed to me is some variation of… cute. And whilst this isn’t an issue for me in general, a staggering majority of people seem to believe that this outer appearance tell them the absolute truth of my sexual preferences.

“Hey boy, you wanna ride my alpha eggplant? A sub btm like you was made for taking it!”

(That’s of course not an accurate representation of usual behavior. In reality, the grammar and spelling should be God f*cking awful as well)

One might think that this behavior is isolated to places where “vanilla” sex is the most preferred outcome (read. Grindr), but sadly I see similar behavior here as well. It’s seemingly very easy to simply see the picture of a person, judge their overall appearance, and assign them a stereotype immediately. And in this case, it’s the belief that if you’re not build like a brick shit-house, you must be a jobber.

Obviously I’m exaggerating for humors sake, but for me it’s honestly the case for many a conversations and attempts at planning meet-ups. And even if the person I talk to get that I’m not a jobber, they often have a hard time grasping that I am 100% a heel, that I won’t be cute and nice in a match, and that if they do meet up with me they will have to expect to leave with their bodies absolutely trashed and aching for hopefully days to come. There’s a reason I like to establish safe-words nowadays (actually I prefer the stoplight system of green-yellow-red, but semantics) whenever I meet someone, and especially unexperienced guys: You will not leave the winner.

I’m pretty sure that most of this behavior, like many other, comes from the representation of stereotypes in modern media. Check any pornsite and you’ll see a mindboggling amount of “Hung jock dominates twink” and similar videos. The same can be said of wrestling videos as well, where we usually see the bigger man defeating his opponent in the end (please don’t comment with all the sources where this is not true; Axel is an outlier and should not be counted).

The title of this entry contains danger though, and with that I do actually have a point to make that isn’t just me whining. I’ve experienced several times where this issue is present but not communicated properly, and when the time for the match arrives, there are differing expectations for the outcome of the match. And that can be disappointing at least, and outright dangerous at most. I try to make my opponent understand what I want out of the match, but sometimes they still expect me to have no defense for their offensive, and in that situation they might not be at all prepared to take a hit. Falling properly and similar techniques are not in any corner of their minds at that time, and that ignorance may lead to the premature end of the match by injury.

Of course, I can’t do a post like this and not bring up the amazing people I’ve met who did respect my preferences. I’ve had some amazing matches with guys from here, many far bigger than me, and very willing to let me crush them. And even with some of the ones who haven’t let me win, there’s still been a mutual understanding of what to expect from a match by both of us.

What I’m trying to say with this wall of text is this: Respect what your potential opponent is saying they are, not what you believe them to be. It’ll probably end up not only safer but a lot more fun and satisfying for the both of you if you do.