Tybinola's blog

Raise your hand if this has happened to you:

You see a guy, either on here or some other form of meeting - app, bar, in person, etc. You can’t help but be interested in him, and you think “probably wouldn’t be interested in me”. However, somehow you muster up the strength to just say “fuck it” I’m going to talk to him and see what happens. And btw this can mean wrestling, boxing, dating, fucking I don’t care.

Then you get the look....not the look of love that gets portrayed on television or the movies. Oh no! You get the up-and-down look. And you know exactly what they are thinking. Then if you’re extra lucky you get the look again. That look of “excuse me peasant, you are looking at me/talking to me/whatever; and why?”

I don’t know what happened to dudes that just feel like they are the gift eternal to all men. I realize that I can get a lot of pushback on this and I’m sure this will seem controversial, but somewhere along the line from puberty on, dudes just seem to think that they are the permanent judge on all things referring to the male body. If for some reason one of us peasants even dares to try and message them or take a chance thinking that “personality should help right?” we just keep getting reminded that those types of guys are really only into a very specific type, and honey you ain’t it.

I know I can try all the different things to lose weight, and aside from starving myself or liposuction, I’ve tried a great deal. I realize I’m not a catch for a lot of guys, especially guys my age. Even here on this site, I know that I’m not a perfect match for all guys on this site. The struggle I have with it is I’m so sick of being told by these types of people that I should just “have confidence, love myself, just feel sexy”.

Again raise your hand if you’ve seen someone on television or online or read an article that just said “I’m sexy because I’m confident” as they are standing there with their shirt off, with abs for days without even flexing, living that truly eternal struggle of just being gifted with the right kind of look. Don’t you just want to tell those people to go fuck themselves? I mean I have. It gets really hard to “love yourself” when people that you are attracted to or people that you may think are good matches keep reminding you over and over again about the exact things that you DON’T love about yourself.

I mean I struggle with this every day. I look in the mirror and I see a beer gut, man boobs, no chiseled jaw line, and a fat ass. I get it I’m not a catch to most. Hence the reason why I’ve been single literally my whole life (shocker). It’s just been really hard lately feeling like I could ever attract anyone. I would love to find a guy that is actually interested in me for my sense of humor, my caring attitude, I don’t know maybe even my ability in a wrestling match.

Does anyone else have this struggle? Does anyone else have any ideas that could help me truly “love myself” regardless of how many times I keep being told no, not interested, or getting “the look”? I would really appreciate some guidance on this. I’ve just been really struggling hard with this lately, because this just keeps happening to me, both at home and even on this site.

Side note: yes this is probably melodramatic, and yes some of this sounds like a poorly written tinder profile, but life hasn’t been so kind to me lately. And this has been my place where I can write down some of my feelings a little more openly than some places, and some of y’all seem to read it and like it. I don’t know.

No this isn’t a political statement (we get enough of those already). This however, is a statement about why men shouldn’t have to keep quiet about their love for wrestling and fighting, whatever style that may entail.

The year 2020, as we all know, has sucked so much! I honestly can’t remember feeling THIS gutpunched since 2005 when Hurricane Katrina happened. It just seems like everything that could go wrong has gone wrong. However, 2020 made me realize something that I guess I can take something positive from, how much I love – and miss – wrestling, fighting, and just feeling like a guy.

I mentioned in my last blog post (almost 3 years ago) about how much I love this stuff, and why I got into it in the first place. I never was a violent kid, never, nada. No physical fights with anyone, hell not even a real verbal altercation that almost got physical. Do I wish I could go back and change that about myself? No, not really, because I don’t know if I personally would’ve liked that person I could have become. However, do I wish that maybe I tried to create better friendships with guys in my grade? Yeah. Why? Because I never got to have that rough housing play with anyone growing up. I never got in a play fight with a brother (biological or theoretical). I never got to roll around, try and submit each other or hell knock each other out while other guys cheered us on.

That desire is something I’m always trying to seek. And I know I am not the only guy in the world that is thinking that, I mean we are all on a site called Meetfighters. Some guys here, they did get in fights growing up, they train in this stuff, or they aren’t as nervous or unsure to challenge people and actually make something happen. However, some – maybe most – of us, probably fit into the same category as that grade school me, afraid to challenge someone, afraid to rough house. Either we were too scared of getting beat (guilty), too scared of making a fool out of ourselves (also guilty), didn’t want to ruin our reputation (also guilty), or maybe we were turned on too much by it and were afraid we would come out of the fight with a bloody nose and a boner getting sent to the principal’s office (guilty, Guilty, GUILTY).

Unfortunately, guys can’t just settle it in a fight all the time now, because the respect of that element of manhood isn’t really present anymore. I’ve heard stories about how my dad and his brothers would get in fights growing up with other people (mess with one you mess with all three); hell my grandmother even told them “you don’t start a fight, but you better finish it”. There was a different mindset back then. In the technology world, many of us cannot afford to get in a fight, for whatever reason, and have someone take out their phone, film it, and post it all over the internet and jeopardize our livelihoods. I know some members have videos of matches here, but that is mutually agreed upon, not filmed secretly by someone who can easily spin it to have a different meaning and potentially ruin someone’s private life.

What I’m trying to say here is that sites like this allow us to, in some way, not have to feel so repressed or scared about loving this stuff. It’s a shame that we have come to a world where guys have to explore their primal, instinctual nature by trying to meet up with guys on the internet. However, we have the beauty of having this be a “safer” way of meeting guys to just simply wrestle, or fight, or have a match of whatever style you both agree on. We can explore that primal side of ourselves. We can challenge our strengths, and the strengths of our opponent. We can simply have fun wrestling and fighting.

I hope we eventually reach a point where we don’t have keep quiet about loving wrestling or fighting. People can talk about it and not feel like they are that weird kid in class. Hopefully 2021 will bring me, and everyone, some much needed energy, adrenaline, and tension release that can come from wrestling and fighting. Sorry for this being so wordy, but I hope others agree. Bearhugs everyone.

P.S. - If you were one of those guys that got into some scraps growing up, I would love to hear about them, please feel free to share.

I have never thought I would be someone that would want to write a blog post on here, but considering today, November 8th, is my 25th birthday, I sort of feel compelled to explain why I am so into this kinda stuff. I had a few moments to just browse the Internet today and I had the crazy idea to just Google "Why men fight" and after reading a few articles on it, I really want to explain my side of this fascination.

I have always been fascinated with wrestling and fighting. I think like so many other guys on here, I started watching pro wrestling (although I don't really watch that anymore), and that evolved into watching the Olympics, then UFC, now on Meetfighters trying to find other men into this the way I am. Ironically, as much as I was obsessed with fighting, I had never been in a fight growing up, not even a school boy fight. However, when boys got into fights at school, I was drawn to them with an incredible curiosity. I think my own testosterone was beginning to rage at that time, but I can distinctly remember getting so reved up by watching two guys fight that I would almost start shaking, yet the idea of me actually getting into a scrap was something that I, nor any of the people around me, would have ever thought would happen.

So why am I now, a 25 year old dude, trying to find guys on here to wrestle with or fight? Honestly, this is the place where I can find guys that understand the beauty of a wrestling match or a fight with another man. It is not always a sexually driven thing (although I certainly have had those erotic tendencies), and it's not an "unnecessary, barbaric thing" as some writer put it in one of those articles I read today. But there is something about the primal instinctual actions of wrestling or fighting someone that truly has made me feel like more of a man than anything I have done so far in my life.

I mean guys we have probably all felt the same thing. When we have met up with our opponents, whether its friends, or guys from this site, there is this incredible rush that is honestly impossible to compare to anything else I've experienced. When you meet face to face for the first time, when you strip down to your gear, or whatever you're choosing to wear, and you can't help but look at your opponent, you just know what is about to happen. The reason I love doing this, is that it's a way of really releasing stress and aggression, and feeling like a primal man, which is an AMAZING feeling.

There is so much that we all go through in our lives that stresses us out, and what's most annoying about the world we live in today is that so many people, I.E. the Feminist movement (sorry ladies), is telling us that we should just talk out our problems, handle stress by doing something creative, share our feelings, hug it out. Where's the option for men to just go and use their built up testosterone doing something masculine? Didn't see it in those options I listed. It's the reason why so many of us (me included) have to keep this part of our lives so secretive, because the idea of two men meeting consensually to just wrestle, or strap on some gloves, or just throw down for fun is confusing and I'm sure frightening to people. But it shouldn't be that way. We men are born to fight. Whenever someone tries to disrespect you, your parents, your girlfriend, boyfriend, wives, kids, whoever, is the instinct for you to just go and say "that's not nice, please say you're sorry"? NO! The instinct, at least in my mind is I want to teach that person a lesson. The role of the man is we are supposed to defend our honor. And I love being able to use this site to explore that role as a man with other men, while having some amazing times in the process.

I always loved watching UFC action. Those guys and girls are so incredibly gifted in what they do and I know I could never be at that level. But one of the things I have always found fascinating is the talk and prep leading to it. Yes, a lot is for show, but the tension when those face-offs happen feels palpable even through the TV screen. Yet, when the final bell is rung and hand of the victor is lifted, the amazing amount of respect seen is so incredible to me. "We just got in a cage and beat the shit out of each other, but this dude is a brother for life." There is no other place that you can really experience that in my opinion.

So I know this was lengthy, and it's crazy that I am writing this, but I have just had an eye opening moment where things have come to a new light of why I love to talk with guys on this site. I like to be in a community like this where I am able to meet men from all over that are intrigued by this, want to do it, get to do it as often as possible, and form a new brotherly bond with them in the process. I hope guys will read this and feel the same connection with this - maybe some of you may want to try and take me on now that you know this about me, HAHA. But now that I'm 25, I am ready now more than ever to explore this world of wrestling and fighting so much more. Hope somebody got something out of this and maybe hope to hear from some of you soon too.

Bearhugs Boys! Happy wrestling. Happy fighting.